Johnlock - Oneshots

It Is What It Is

John had came into Sherlock's life at the perfect time. He was there just when Sherlock had given up on ever having a friend. He was there to compliment him on a trait that Sherlock had hypothesized would only ever bring insults. He had been there time and time again to pull him out of tough spots. And Sherlock loved him for it. 

But now John needed him. Mary was gone, John was left to raise Rosie on his own. John stood before him in the living room of the flat they had previously shared. The flat that contained so many memories, awkward glances, drunken nights, genuine laughs. But none of that existed right now. All that existed was the slow, deep sound of John's sobs. 

Sherlock stood, wrapping his arms around John, his John. The strong ex-military doctor, who never cried in front of anyone ever, crumpling into a heap in his embrace. 

"It's okay John."

"It's not okay."

"No, but it is what it is." 

Sherlock's attempts at reassuring words must have helped, as John had stopped crying now. He drew his face away from Sherlock's chest. 

"I'm sorry." He said, his cheeks stained with tears. 

"What for?" Now Sherlock was confused, a state he had been in very few times in his life. Although he had been confused more and more often lately when it came to John. 

"For Mary."

"It wasn't your fault John." Now Sherlock really was confused, why would John be apologizing about Mary to him?

"Yes it was." His eyes had began to swell with tears again.

Sherlock pulled John back into the hug, "You didn't kill her John, It wasn't yo..."

"I chose her." John cut him off, his words startling Sherlock. "I chose her instead of you, it was a mistake."

Sherlock pulled back again slightly, his head began working in overdrive, could it be possible that John shared the same feelings as Sherlock? No it couldn't possibly, he was just grieving, mad with grief, yes that. 

"You-you didn't love Mary?" He asked, uncertain he wanted to hear the answer. 

"No, I loved her, I really did, but I didn't love her as - I didn't love her as much as..." John's words were shaky, broken, as if he was fighting back sobs, which, Sherlock guessed, he probably was. "I didn't love her as much as I love you."

Did Sherlock hear that correctly? Did John Watson just say that he loved him? 

John paused, eyeing the blank expression of shock that crossed Sherlock's face. His eyes appeared to be contemplating what to do next. He kept talking, but Sherlock barely registered what he was saying. He simply watched the smaller man's mouth move as it formed words, the phrase he had just said echoing in Sherlock's mind. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

"I should have never married Mary, she brought me nothing but pain and sorrow. And maybe, maybe if you hadn't returned we could have been happy. But I can't possibly be happy with someone who isn't you. And I'm sorry I took so long to realize how much I love..."

John's ramble was cut off the the feeling of a pair of lips pressed against his own. Sherlock hadn't even realized he done it until their lips connected, his mind went blank, his only thought was Johns soft, wet lips against his. He felt John slowly, hesitantly kiss back. He felt a hand shakily grip his shirt, steadying itself, as their lips moved in sinc. Sherlock brought his hands up to grasp the sides of John's face, attempting to pull him closer. Tears still ran down John's cheeks, but Sherlock didn't care, it was perfect. Well not perfect, no, it was better than perfect it was real, it was true, it was them. It was a whole complex swell of pent up emotion from years of longing on both sides. It was relief, and sadness, and happiness, madness, anger, love. And it was a promise, a promise Sherlock would make to John, to always be there, to love and care for him, to never leave. Because John Watson needed Sherlock Holmes, just as much as Sherlock needed John. 

Sherlock was the one to break the kiss, pulling away panting. He rested his head against Johns forehead, keeping his eyes closed shut. 

"I love you, John." 

AN//: So this was not at all where I was planning to go with this one shot. I was going to write one based off a song but this happened