(DISCONTINUED) Fucked Up {An Ereri AU}

15

And so Mikasa pushed Levi back, pulling the ugly shit-green chair away from the door and she opened it. Surprisingly, not many of the undead had surrounded the house. About five or so stood outside of the door. Mikasa went by them, stabbing her  blade which was covered in blood already into the skulls of the dead that walked past. Sasha shot her gun with amazing accuracy, killing everything that she had shot at. Armin stayed at the back of the pack, inspecting their surroundings, but weilding a knife, just in case.

The song continued to play in Eren's head; I will let you down, I will make you hurt. Time felt slower, though in reality it was only seconds by the time they had finished killing the undead that were around them. They all shot at Vipers and the zombies; no one cared if they were living. They had killed their friends. Their family. They were all monsters, whether they were the dead that had risen or living, breathing people. All of them wanted to take the breath out of their lungs. To make them choke on their own blood, inhaling the gooey, crimson substance and drowning in it. Like Jean.

They wanted to make them come back and eat their own bastard friends. Like Marco had eaten Jean.

"Good speech back there," Levi told Eren, no one else paying attention to the two of them, but to the Vipers and the undead surrounding them.

"Thanks," Eren responded, his voice almost a whisper. Levi simply nodded in response. "Levi...sometimes this just seems so unreal. Ya know?"

Levi looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "No. This is all real—to me at least," Levi spat, as if he had taken offense to the statement. Eren just nodded, blocking out the rapid gunfire and screams which still echoed.

Soon they made it to the gate, the ropes still tied to the pikes that sat in the ground. "Go!" Connie shouted. They all ran as quickly as they could.

I will make you hurt.

None of them heard the snapping of the ropes behind them until it was too late.

If I could start again...

"Ack!" Sasha cried as a man grabbed her from behind, causing her to drop her gun as he held his own gun to her left temple. Connie wad the first to hear her panic, causing him to spin around. His eyes widened, his mind barely processing the situation.

A million miles away...

"SASHA!" he screeched, everyone else now having turned around.

"I can't go back home without somethin'," the man bellowed, sniffling. Sasha was able to adjust her position, moving in a spot perfect for her attack. She bit down on to his hand as hard as she could, tasting the metallic blood in her mouth. The man shoved her to the ground, screaming in pain. "Bitch!" He shrieked, shooting her in the leg as she tried to run.

"CONNIE!" She screamed as the last fatal snap! of the the last, unbroken rope echoed out.

The scene of him sitting at the table only a few days ago, replayed in his head. "All I need to think about is changing those ropes on the gate. They're wearing out and Mr. Boss Shadis has been grilling my ass for not changing them out."

I could keep myself...

Despite Connie trying to run to the gate before it happened, he was too late. The gate fell with a loud, booming THUD! which echoed in the forest around them. Eren threw himself off of Levi, falling to the ground and trying to crawl towards the gate, where Connie had crouched down. His head hung low as he wept. "Sasha!" He screamed.

"Con-" her voice was cut off by the last shot that they heard ring out inside of the gates. Connie screamed, if you could call it that. It was more of a choked, disturbing sob. Like the sound an animal would make after getting its leg stuck in a trap, the teeth of said trap digging into its flesh painfully.

"SASHA!" he screamed, banging his fists on to the wooden structure in anger and sadness.

Eren began sobbing as Levi grabbed him, trying to pull him up. He wrapped his arm around him, trying to pick him up but failing as Eren ripped his arms off of him. He had recalled the times in which he knew Sasha as the badass weirdo he went to high school with. He had almost forgotten over these shitty years that he had known her before, well, known her was exageratted. He walked past her, had a few classes with her, chatted with her sometimes, not much else. He could imagine it, like he had before. Them hanging out. Having an actual friendship, in the real world. It was so vivid, it was like a memory.

Sasha, Connie, Armin and him all going out for coffee. Connie's would be a vanilla latte, Armin would tell them how coffee could be unhealthy, but he would chug the caffeinated drink thirstily.  Sasha would get a drink so filled with sugar, it would make Eren sick to his stomach.

Sasha.

Eren would get black, but regret it immediately. That fucking taste...

His chest hurt. It was that pain. That pain they all knew. He forced himself to stand on his feet, to ignore the pain in his side and to follow the pain in his heart which told him to run over to the wall. Stop. He told himself. You're overdoing it. You'll hurt yourself. But he ignored this logical voice.

I will find...a way.

The song ended as he continued to hit his fists on the wall. Armin ran his fingers through his hair, more tears streaming down his face. He fought the feeling to scream or...more so he couldn't. His throat felt as if it had closed shut, refusing his right to yell in horror. He opened his mouth, trying to speak or scream, but all that came out was a choked sob.

Mikasa and Levi stared in awe, not even understanding how to respond.

Connie then recalled something Jean had said months ago as he hit his fists on the wall in defeat. He had not even realized he had stored the thing in the back of his head; maybe, his mind had done it all by itself, waiting for the right moment to reveal that it had tricked him. Our minds do that. When we think we have disregarded the simplest of things, or trashed the deep darkness hidden inside, our mind pulls the rug from under our feet. They reveal to us, whether at the right time or the wrong, that they tricked us.

"Damn birds can just fly away from all this mess. Not a care in the world."

Birds...he thought, feeling as if the world around him had slowed. Eren hit his fists harder and harder against the wall, splinters from the wood digging into his skin. Blood ran down his arms. His eyes were wide with horror and anger. His eyebrows were furrowed as if he were pissed, but his eyes filled to the brim with tears until they spilled over on to his cheeks.

If only Jean and Marco...Connie's fists fell to his side, his eyes glazed over-he looked dead and worn out. And Sasha,

If only they had been able to fly away.