You don't know what true pain is
Until you've fallen so in love with someone
And later feel yourself falling out of it.
A stranger's fist grasping my heart,
Squeezing it until it feels like it's going to burst,
Forcing me to look into your eyes and say
"I don't know if I love you anymore."
This is the way I feel when I look at you.
When I look into your deep, brown eyes,
The chocolate seas I slipped and fell into love in,
This is the way I feel when I see your face.
When you bite your lip and crack that toothy smile,
When you have no idea how much
you are hurting me.
I don't know what to call this
twisted feeling anymore.
Is this what the people call love?
Is this what the people call lust?
Is this what the sad, sad people call heartbroken?
Am I one of the sad people now?
Am I broken?
To put myself to sleep at night
I always thought of you holding me
instead of counting sheep.
I would daydream of your voice-
not saying anything in particular-
just you, talking.
I can't look at your pictures anymore
without asking myself the question-
'Do I still love you?'
I'd like to think that of course I do,
Because when I see your face I get butterflies.
They dance around the garden of my ribcage, sending smiles up my spine
and to the red tint of my cheeks
that wasn't there before.
I never thought I could be in love
with two people at once
until his name escaped my lips
when I intended to say yours,
Not until I thought of him holding me
instead of counting sheep,
instead of you.
Not until the sound of his voice
left your mouth in my daydreams,
Not until I look at you,
and my heart hurts.
It feels like his fist is gripping it,
tightly,
Dragging me back,
Dragging me away from you,
And I don't want to go.
I don't want to stop loving you,
because you are my world.
But what is the world in a universe full of galaxies? What am I to you, anyway?
Would I have ever even been good enough?
What is this feeling in my chest,
This suffocating feeling, like the weight of my love for you has finally become to big for this world, and it is caving in on me.
What is this?
If only I knew the answer.
