Suicide had me wondering

Chapter 3

You finally go to the yard walking and feeling like a zombie because of the emptiness inside of you and you grab your father's rope. You take it with you to your room and start putting it in the right position for when you decide to take the final step. The final step to death. Just thinking about your mother brings tears to your eyes because you know how much this would hurt her but you just cannot take this pain any longer. You want it to end. You know your family will think its their fault so before any decision is made you write the letter to them. Your suicide note. Your room is tidied up and you place it on your bed along with your favourite stuffed teddy bear. Tears fill your eyes as you begin to think to yourself that this could actually be the end of it. You're thinking about your whole family and how much you would miss them but then you realise that they will not miss you . You think about your best friend and all the pain she would feel but then you realise that she made you feel much more painful. You think about your teachers and your favourite teacher but then you realise that she is one of the main reasons why you are going through with this . You are thinking about every one and everything at this point. But that doesn't stop you. You're eventually standing on the chair ready to take a step off of it. Your foot slips and you are crying while your throat is strangling. You take one last look at the sky through your window and say your final words ."goodbye". It's done. You are no longer among the living. Your body is hanging with blood all over your floor. Your mom comes home and shouts for you. "Clair?, Clair? look at what I bought you honey" but there is no answer. She assumed you were sleeping so she goes into your room wanting to give you a kiss on your forehead. As she enters your room her eyes fill up with tears. For all those amount of times you cried yourself to sleep, everytime someone hurt you and you cried that still did not compare to the way your mother cried. All the hurt you felt still does not even compare with the hurt that felt as she entered your room. She's screaming . Her beautiful baby girl is dead. She cannot believe what she sees. She tries to get you down as quickly as possible and awaken you but she is not God and she cannot help you with this mistake you have made. She calls the ambulance and immediately tells the rest of the family. Everyone is crying and everyone us hurt. They read your words but still dont understand your pain. Your friends find out and Quinn is the first one to know. She is in shock. She still didn't read the note you gave to her only a month ago. She is still. No words . Tears but no movement. Your mother is comforting her but she walks away. she cannot handle this. Just like you couldn't handle everything so much that you went to go kill yourself.