Tic Toc

Chapter Twenty

Zeke

Everyone would hear me. Finally my story would be told. My father would wake up and yell for me to bring him his drinks and I wouldn't answer. And when I didn't answer he would come up to my room and knock. I wouldn't answer so he'd come in. He'd come in and he'd find me.

I have a lot to say to him too. Taking another pice of paper I write quickly.

"Well now you see. You were right all along. I am weak. I am a waste. I am no good. I'm useless. Unimportant. And unneeded. You were right. Are you proud of me for knowing that now? Are you glad you didn't have to kill me like you always said you would if I didn't listen? Cuz I did it for you? Look at your son. The man you gave life to. The one you bullied every damn day. The one you constantly belittle and make hate himself. I didn't commit suicide alone. You helped me. You. Did. This. My blood is on your hands. I hope you're happy now. I know I am. I'm finally free"

I throw the note down onto the floor. I don't care how he finds it. I place the rope around my neck and I stand on my desk chair.

I take a look around my room. All my drawings on the walls, my clothes on the floor, my desk is the only thing completely clean accept for Lyndseys note. That sits peacefully in the center waiting for her to open it. Making it all around the room I look up now. I look at the ceiling fan and I remember how much of a hard time my father gave my mother for her insisting he put it up for me. She told him it will circulate the air and keep it from getting stale and to her that was important so he did it. I smile at the memory of my mother. When she died. So did I.

I wipe the tears out of my eyes and look straight. I meet the eyes of a stranger yet someone I should know better than anyone although we've really never been acquainted.

The mirror on the door with which I haven't looked in awhile stands before me. A reflected Zeke looking back at me.

I meet my own eyes again and I speak, "This is it Zeke. You don't have to hurt anymore. This ends tonight. Right here right now." I smile though I am crying, "You're free."

I take in a final breath of air and I jump.