Liza is an eighty nine year old vampire stuck forever living as a teenage girl, for decades trying to run away from her past. She tries to control her desires and the strong temptation she faces being what she is, fighting to save her own sense of h...
"Humanity can bring out the most hidden parts of ourselves, the light & the dark." - Unknown
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Two years gone
Came back as some bones and so cynical
This skin don't feel like home
It's all overgrown but you'll never know
I cannot tell you my life has been full of happy endings. That's not how my story has ever been. It has been one of loss, confusion, death, and running away from my past until it catches up with me again. I've been cursed for almost seventy years. In 1951, I chose a different life under the most unusual and inevitable circumstances.
If only my sister and I hadn't met Annabelle. She was the woman who although saved me and Evelyn from a horrible fate, lead us into an even more lethal one in it's place as she revealed herself to be a vampire. Evelyn craved this life of immortality, wishing to leave her painful human life behind. At first I feared it, soon trying to avoid the truth. Annabelle had me in the palm of her hand, soon sealing my fate as she chose me to become bound to her for eternity. She had a hidden agenda from the beginning, once revealed to me placing an eternal guilt within my soul. She made me a monster, awakening both an identity and sexual desires that I never knew existed within myself.
Take the mirror from the wall so I can't see myself at all
Don't wanna see another damn inch of my skull
Forget the poems of saints and ghostsI'm the one I fear the most
Little did I know that I was only crying wolf
Eighteen years later I fled with Evelyn, growing weary of my life with Annabelle and her games. I attempted to break what so tightly controlled me. Yet to this day I know that my sire still has that control. She would never lose it. The sire bond could never be broken, always in the back of my mind even as I fed on the blood of another. I knew the risk I was taking. For when I left, a sense of direction left me, no matter how much I tried to escape my bond with the woman. I felt a longing for her to be near, blood and body.
Once I left Annabelle, it came with severe consequences. I gave into my lusts for awhile, the separation from my sire becoming too much to bear as I became what I most feared. I needed to replace her bond with something stronger, almost impossible to find. Ironically, eighteen years ago I thought I found it. Everything changed when I met Mel. With her, I almost felt human again.
I began to believe it was possible to be free of the sire bond, to finally have a happy ending. But I learned quickly that for someone like me this does not exist, neither does it exist for the very humans I fall into love with. I killed the girl. Although I tried to cling onto my humanity, my mind became completely overtaken by both the hunger and the lustful desires within me. I was devastated, vowing to myself I would never become so closely tied to a mortal again. I would keep myself under control, no matter what the cost. Yet I remember the letter put into my coat pocket the night I had fled with Evelyn. Annabelle had already sensed something was wrong, she somehow always knew.
"We will meet again when the time is right, my dear Liza. Just remember the risk you are taking in parting with me."
That letter and it's message has stayed with me ever since I left. I never knew how long it would be until Annabelle and I would become one again. Until then, I live my life in uncertainty, a war raging within to not become the monster my sire created so long ago. Evelyn has enjoyed being an immortal. I however have seen it as a horrible curse. The beast within enjoys it, but my sense of lingering humanity brings the reality crashing down. The cravings, the desire, they never go away. I try to hate what I have become, try to fight my urges. I avoid humans to avoid heartache. We can't, no, we shouldn't love, Because we destroy everything we touch. I have the strength, the speed, the beauty to lure anyone in as I please. I have an undying hunger, one that I fight within myself every day. I cannot hurt anyone else. I will not hurt anyone else. I will not give in. These are the things I always tell myself, until I need my next fix.
Will it ever end, this life of eternal darkness? I want someone to pull me out, a savior leading me back to the light. I knew however I would never find such a thing, for a being like myself did not deserve such a courtesy. So I will continue to search for meaning in this immortal life, hoping one day my undead heart will have something to live for. I am Liza Thompson, and this is my story.
I know it's so wrong but I'm so far gone
Don't need you to tell me I'm so cynical
Quit being so over-skeptical
Don't need a metaphor for you to know I'm miserable
I don't need a metaphor for you to know I'm miserable
"What's Wrong" - PVRIS
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Chapters, yet not every one consecutively, will go back and forth From Liza's present to flashbacks of memories/ recollections from her past. It will also have Carter and some Evelyn and general POVs. Flashbacks are italizied and thoughts both past and present are italizied and bolded put in the center.
Chapter 2 Snippet
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