Struck By Life

A Bright Blue Dress

Eyes closed, pink lips, her hair in blonde curls, and her favorite bright blue dress. How can someone dead look so alive?

I look over to my right and see the poster of her.

   Layla Peterson

      1998-2014

   A Bright,Young,

Beautiful Daughter,

Sister, And Human

And the love of my life. I say to myself. I look over to the left of me and see Mr. & Mrs. Peterson, hugging friends and family. I attempt to walk over, but someone taps my shoulder. Nick.

"Nash. Hey how are you?" Nick says.

"Not okay, how are you ? How are your parents holding up?" I reply. I don't know why I ask. Guess politeness. I expect them to feel the worst. Broken. Like me.

"They're.." he hesitates." not doing so well. They keep fighting. Mom keeps crying. I'm not okay either."

He looks down and I can see a tear stream down his face. There are dark circles around his eyes. His hair out of place. "She looks so beautiful in that dress," he says. "It matches her eyes. Why do they have to close her eyes." He is trembling. I think he is going to break down.

But he continues. "I can't help but feel...so responsible for this. It's my fault. I made her go."

I can't help it but my politness comes through to me. So I say, "No it isn't don't say that. No. Don't, please. For Layla." I'm lying. I'm being fake. I don't feel what I just said. I believe it's his fault too. I want to scream at him. So bad.

He walks away though. I can't help but suddenly feel relieved. For his sake mostly. I would of blown up at him. I look back to Layla.

I want her to be alive. I need her. She is so beautiful. I hope she looks this way in heaven.

I think about what I'm going to say about her today. I didn't write anything. I wish I had. Everyone seems to be seated. I take a seat with Natalie. Who is sobbing her eyes out. "Hey Nash." She looks up. I dont know how she knew it was me. Natalie is tricky like that. "Nat, how are you?" I ask, my politeness keeps sinking through me.

"What do you think? I'm freaking swell!" she says with a dash of sarcasm, "Besides the fact my best friend just, you know, died."

Natalie always has a way of making everything be about her. Her bestfriends funeral, though?

"Sorry I asked." I say. She looks miserable, but manages to still wear makeup and do her hair.

I could barely get up this morning.

A man in a black suit motions everyone to sit. I look up and my eyes go blurry. All I can see is that bright blue dress.