Unforgettable

2.

Harry's face snaps up, his lips parting in shock.

"Oh-I'm, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to-"

I hold my hand up to cut him off from his stuttering "It's fine honestly, happens all the time, trust me"

I look at Finn who is bathing in the awkwardness of this conversation, he lives for this sort of thing.

Harry clears his throat "No, No, I'm really sorry, Emma never mentioned that...you were, uhm-"

"That I'm a vaginatarian?" I interrupt trying to lighten the mood, leaning my elbow on the table, resting my chin in my hand "It's fine, I was diagnosed fifteen years ago, I've made peace with it"

Harry laughs under this breath, running his hand through his long tangled curls, still obviously embarrassed.

"Don't worry I thought she was straighter than a ruler when I met her too" Finn tries to add reassuringly.

We can't all have 'I'm here and I'm queer' plastered across our forehead like you Finn.

Before Harry can reply, there's a loud squeal, and he's almost knocked over in the seat as Emma throws herself at him in a hug that could honestly have been mistaken for a tackle "Boo boo! You're here!"

I side eye Finn and see him staring at me with a disgusted look on his face as he mouths "Boo Boo?" he scrunches his nose "really?"

I lift my shoulders in a "Don't ask me" expression, biting down on the inside of my cheek to keep the laugh I want to let out at bay.

The phrase "Aye Boo boo, would you like to see in my pic-a-nic basket" loops through my head and I dig my nails into my palms trying not to cackle.

Does this mean I should start calling Emma Yogi Bear?

I snort into my hand, trying to pass it off as a cough and clear my throat.

Nothing could have prepared me for what was an extremely uncomfortable few minutes of over the top P.D.A, which almost felt like watching soft core porn - it was like a car crash, you just couldn't look away.

Did she really have to do this in front of my lunch?

During it I had to pinch Finn several times when he started to making gagging noises, to which he only pinched me back.

Emma finally unwrapped herself from Harry, standing and adjusting her disheveled uniform.

Poor Harry looks like he was just put through the spin cycle in a washing machine.

They look like a couple of teenagers that just fucked in a broom closet.

I'm sure her boss was over the moon about her dry humping, what looked like a customer in front of everyone.

She's just enthusiastic, I remind myself.

Harry on the other hand, looks completely mortified by the interaction, he can't even look at either of us, just has his eyes firmly planted on the table.