Part 20 - Personal Worship
"Wait-wait-wait. Wait. Just wait right there." Joxer held up the hand not wrapped around a goblet and halted the conversation. "Wait." Another long sip of a wine too delicious to believe and he could go on. "He doesn�t know."
"Nope." If the God of War could be said to possess a silly grin, this was it. And there had been plenty of Bacchus� best vintage poured into it.
"How is that even possible?" Joxer blinked hard. The wine was good, but he wasn�t even close to drunk. He wondered if that was a god thing, too. "I mean, you�re� a god!"
"You�d think he�d pick up on it, but no." Ares� broad shoulders shrugged. "I suspect it�s willful ignorance at this point. There�s no excuse for it."
"And you�re not going to tell him."
Ares made an annoyed sort of snorting noise. "As if he would believe me after all this time. �Uh, Herc, you know all those times we�ve knocked down half of Greece because we were fighting? Well, it was all fake. I was just helping you fine-tune your godly gift.� Yeah, that�d go over real well."
Joxer couldn�t help but picture Hercules� befuddled look at that possible revelation. And then, he couldn�t help but laugh. "Pr-promise me if you ever tell him, you�ll bring me along!"
"Done and done," Ares chuckled, imagining the same face but with a few embellishments. Like a pile manure for the hero to fall in. It may be training, but that didn�t mean he couldn�t enjoy himself. "But you have to bring me with when you tell Xena and the blond harpy that you're a god."
Joxer quieted quickly at the sound of those names and Ares was momentarily concerned that he'd killed the friendly, flirty mood by bringing those two up. He didn't need to worry. "Oh, I think I'll sell tickets to that one." Joxer waggled his eyebrows a little, which sent Ares off into a made gale of laughter, thinking about his daughter and her� companion� And Joxer followed, rocking back and guffawing right along.
Too much laughing and too much wine finally added a little squirm to Joxer's posture. And he hated to have to break up the good times that were being had, but he didn't much favor having an accident in front of his god, never mind in front of his favorite lust-fantasy and the guy he just plain loved. His wine-soaked brain didn't bother to analyze any of that, just accepting it for now while in such dire peril.
"Stay here. I gotta� see a horse about a man." Joxer levered himself up and realized just how much of that delicious wine was sloshing around inside him. Not only was his bladder warming up the chorus, but his eyes were decidedly blurry and he wasn't quite sure where the door was.
"Easy, tiger. Don't go wandering around inside, you'll just get lost. Probably wind up sleeping with Graegus. We're outside. Pick a friendly corner and have at it." Ares gave a casual wave of his hand toward the rest of the garden. "Just try not to piss on anything important."
Joxer snorted, wondering what in the Garden of War would be considered unimportant enough to take a leak on. After a good deal of stumbling in one general direction, Joxer found a suitable olive tree. It was tall and sturdy, with lots of thick bark and high branches. Nothing important enough to get him sizzled, he assumed. Plus, it was just this once. He wasn't going to make a habit of tinkling all over Ares' things, even at his suggestion.
It had been a long while since Joxer had operated a toga, and he'd been fairly drunk then, too. He felt a little more clearheaded now, owing whatever to his recent godliness, but for some reason, he couldn't find his way in. He fumbled at the folds of cloth, trying to find the inevitable split in fabric that would keep him from making a huge mess of himself. It'd been an even LONGER while since he'd been drunk enough for that to happen. But after a few minutes of floundering, he hadn't made any progress. "Aw, c'mon. I know I'm in here somewhere. Dammit, Strife, where in Tartarus is the hole?"
