I get to first period pretty early I didn't really care I just sat down and put some headphones in staring at my lap .
I start thinking for awhile about like twenty minutes max and through my music I hear the bell ring and the class begins to fill .
Throughout all the kids I see jah .
i don't know why but I felt a little better to be in this class . He saw me and made his way over sitting in a seat next to me setting his things down . An ecquaintance of me .
" uUumMmm your in my seat " she says .
He just stared at her not moving it was kind of akward seeing everyone in there seat and her just standing there with her face stuck out . She rolled her eyes walking away I didn't care though the only reason she wants to sit in that seat is because I'm smart and she copies all of my work or whateva 🙄.
The teacher walks in looking mad as usual .
She started teaching and biah blah blah . I really didn't care
TBH I was paying attention to jah the whole time and BITCHH he sexy ASF like his eyesss , his jaw line he just oof-
At this moment I decided that after school I was going home to play with my kitten 😈.
I'm not even playing around .
After staring for awhile and he looks over . Just smirking making me fall out of my damn seat .
I get up and sit back down class going my faster than normal . Scratch that the whole day when by fast .
After I got home and did everything I needed to even my shower .
I lay down and stare at the ceiling for awhile just thinking about my day .
I do this sometimes and go over some things I do during the day and over think about them and then get mad over the stupid shit I did and scold myself ( does anyone else do this ? Cause I know my weird ass does this💀💀💀 ) after getting myself mad for no reason I get up and pace around my room putting on some music .
I play -CASH FLOW BY TYUS slowed - on repeat and get some weed out because I wanted to shmoke to this song .( I actually never smoked weed before but if I ever do then I want to smoke to this song🤠 )
After smoking I lay down the song on it fifth time of playing but I didn't care . I don't know why but I start thing of jawsay my high ass get turned on and before you know it 👉👌 the cat is getting attacked 😺 but I don't finger myself tho because im scared shitless I tried that shit before and it hurt to much so I stayed away .
After awhile I 💦 and put my shorts back on still in the room and still high I lay down just listening to the song for the eight time .
SLAM " demon we have companyyyy" dimond big ass comes running up in my mothafuckin room .
I'm to high to care tho 🤷🏽♀️
She sees I'm high and here's the song I was playing and catches on what just happened and smirks . She leaves for awhile but comes back with stockly and jawsay . They all sit down on my bed around me and just stare . I'm not even gonna lie I'm still catching my breath for what just happened so I'm just like 🌚 and then ski and di start talking and jah just lays down next to me .
O-kay ...
" Did you just finger your self ? " He asks .
No Niggga -
" No." I never talk so this catches ski and di's attention .
" Then why you breathing hard ?"
I noticed they staring so I closed my mouth and shrug my shoulders .
They notice and start talking this time about me .
Jah gets a little to close and whispers to me . " You ain't even got to lie to me I know what you did 😏" .
😵
I look at him and then scoot over making him laugh a little .
" You have a cute voice you should talk more " he tells me .
I blush a little but then remember why I don't talk and close my self off again kind of getting upset to get away with out seeming weird I got change the song to -FLEXXX by Yung quiet - I love this song so I put it on some might say I have weird music taste but I think different .
I sit in my chair this time still in my feels jah notices and kinda brushed it off like he should. because no one cares enough to even pay attention to me anyways . Times like this I wish. I was never born or even alive cutting being my only solution sadly. I don't like it and it not good but I always go back to it in rough times like a toxic relationship .
My Stupid brain always seems to turn good times into bad reminding me no one loves me and I'll always be alone .
Fuck .
Only I can masterbate and be sad at the same time .
" Nah I don't think anyone understands me. " - Yung quiet ,one year ago .
Hi 👋
Dis chapter five and I'm big lackin on writing on this and that's bad because this. book I kinda like a thing I can do to distract me from shit that happens in my life . Cause sis life is not good to me and this app has been making me cope with shit you know?
Any ways hope you liked the chapter because I was happy to see people seeing my book even though its only a few of you guys but it makes me happy Soo💕
