Manhattan // Josh Kiszka

III

The rain patterned against the window. The sound of it hitting the glass echoed through the car. He felt like it had been raining for four months straight, or about the same amount of time she had been gone.

He grew to hate the rain, not because she loved it, but because of the social associations with it. Rain was supposed to make you feel sad, melancholy, blue. You were supposed to abandon your plans and stay indoors all day. He was sick of that. He was sick of moping and hating himself and shunning the outside world. He had to get out of his head. He had to start living for him, and not her.

Josh rested the side of his face on his left palm and held a grip on the steering wheel with his right. As much as Josh hated the weather, he didn't mind driving in it. He didn't really mind driving at all. In fact, he enjoyed it. He took a lot of drives to clear his mind. If he could focus on anything but her for at least an hour or two, that would be good enough for him. It worked, too. Most of the time. But sometimes the radio would be turned on and he'd hear that stupid song.

"Josh, please dance with me!"

Josh groaned and slowly picked himself up off the sofa. He didn't care for the song, but she loved it. She played it all the time around the apartment, mostly just to annoy him.

"Okay, okay." Josh grabbed the hands that were held out in front of him. He loved seeing his girl so lively. She always came out of her shell when she was with him. She was quite an effervescent girl around him. He loved that about her. His sweet, beautiful, vibrant Ava.

Ava sang along to the song. Josh smiled at her vocal abilities, or lack thereof. It didn't matter though, she was in her element. Josh held onto her waist as she swayed her hips.

Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes

Ava ran her hands through her hair and tilted her head back. Josh took that moment to press a kiss onto her neck. He nibbled at the skin before Ava pushed his head away. She danced in a circle around him and he watched her, her body and how it moved. She really was so beautiful, and in that moment he wanted her. Bad. As she was moving around him, he grabbed her waist and pulled her close to him.

"I was having fun, Josh!" Ava frowned.

Josh leaned down and kissed her jawline. "We're about to have a lot more fun."

Josh winced at the memory. He slammed his hand on the power button and the music cut off abruptly. He was trying to get over her — he was — but he couldn't stop his mind from wandering from time to time. It was painful, but it hurt more when he had to remind himself that it was over. He and Ava were nothing anymore.

The traffic was slow, but the rain was only picking up its pace. Josh shifted in his seat and sighed. He'd been on the road for an hour. L.A. traffic really was the worst, but Josh wasn't necessarily in a hurry. He was on his way to see Delilah. He met her after a show when he was walking out of the venue and she practically knocked him over trying to reach him. She told him that she loved the show and that she was hoping she would be able to catch him before he left. Josh nervously laughed and thanked her. He didn't really like fans coming up to him and treating him as if he was 'some big deal'. Maybe he was a big deal, but he didn't like being reminded. Nonetheless, he was nice to her and even stroke up a conversation. He noticed she was wearing a shirt that read "Ceci n'est pas une pipe". They talked about Magritte, and after that they talked about movies, and after that they talked about cocktails, and after that they talked about...

She was a nice girl, she was. Josh could give her that. She was pretty and fun, but she was no Ava. Delilah could listen to Josh when he was debating something, but she wouldn't rebut. Ava, however, would listen to Josh's argument and find a way to counter it. She would challenge him; Delilah would just sit and smile at him. Josh would point out film tricks or trivia to Ava while they watched movies. Delilah hated when people talking during movies and insisted that Josh keep his "nerdy" comments to himself. He didn't take it personally though, not everyone could appreciate knowing Hitchcock made cameo appearances in many of his films or that all the blood in Psycho was chocolate syrup. Delilah just had no depth to her, or at least no depth that Josh found interesting. With Ava it was different. She captivated him. She enthralled him. She enticed him. He didn't feel that with Delilah. Still, he was desperate, but he didn't intend on keeping her around long.