Bright Lights and Rainy Nights

f i v e

I was having the time of my life. With Emilia gone and out of the way, look who's at the top now! Me. Richard Li. Many know me as the boy who always gets second to the girl who is always just this little miss perfect pants. I mean, who would want to be friends with the girl who never speaks to anyone yet make everybody feel awful about themselves when they compare their work to hers.

My parents are always yelling at me when I get second to a girl. I try and get it across to them that I try my hardest, but they never seem to get it. It's always, "Emilia beat you in this... Do better!" "Emilia got a better score on that assessment... Work harder!" "Emilia is so much better than you... Try more!"

The day before Emilia left, she had beaten me in yet another English test. This was the tipping point for my parents. They grounded me and took away all my electronics, so I had to do everything on paper. Like seriously, who does things on paper anymore? And yes, my parents are still swooping over me, trying to control my life like a marionette puppet. Of course, I needed revenge. It was 100% Emilia's fault that I had ended up in this situation. So, as soon as I arrived, I told Niccole how Emilia goes around knocking on people's doors and makes them do her work for her. With a smug look on my face, I knew that by the time Emilia got to school, the rumors would be attacking her like a swarm of hungry mosquitoes.

I was correct. Every person who saw Emilia assaulted her with comments on, I quote, "You cheat! You just want all the attention from the teachers! You're a teacher's pet!... I bet you are like, a super dumb person who only knows how to be a liar and how to cheat...Stupid Emilia!" She brushed it off and sped into the classroom, taking a seat in the back corner. I was watching her like a hawk spying on its prey. I spread a particularly nasty rumor about her mom and dad being beggars at lunch, and I personally insulted her just before she left for her home about being a lonely liar.

***

When the news that Emilia would be absent for the next few months was delivered upon Mr. Lumen's English Class, I literally jumped with joy. From then on, I was the top. And a sight many were amazed to see was Emilia's name at the absolute bottom of the list with a big, fat, zero printed next to her title.

That went on for the next three or so months. I was praised by my parents, who just thought that Emilia was getting worse and I was getting better. It was nice for a little bit, but after a while, I started to feel guilty that they were believing I was amazing even though it was just because she was gone. I noticed my test scores were lowering, slightly, but lower every time I took an assessment. I also noticed that Socratic Seminars and class discussions were a little less deep and thoughtful, and the teacher seemed a little less excited to call on people to answer questions. The feeling in the classroom and the dynamics of the classes shifted.

This change couldn't have been because of Emilia, right? One person couldn't have been that important, right? And this one person is a person without any friends and barely spoke to anyone except for the teacher and in class for educational purposes. Why did that one person have to be the most annoying person in our year and have to be the person that I was building off? Why was she the reason for my success? Why must my life be involving Emilia even though I want to ignore her? Why?

I finally gave in to my guilt of being praised not for my skills. My brain was searching for why I had acted out of impulse and teased Emilia just because I was jealous and angry. I had no reason to be a bully towards her, when I couldn't control how well she does compared to myself. Finding no reasonable, human explanation on why I was the jerk I was, I told the truth to my parents, my friends, and my other classmates.

The day I told my parents was an interesting day, to say the least. I woke up with a grim smile on, then made my feet move my half-asleep body downstairs where my parents were sitting at our dining room table, drinking their customary cup of coffee.

"Mom, dad, I would like to tell you something. You may not like it that much."

"Ok, son, tell away. I doubt it is anything to do with school, since you are doing so well there." My strict father pressed on me, yet still had a small smile tugging the corners of his lips upward.

"Um... actually, that is what I was going to tell you. The only reason I have been doing better than Emilia is because she is not attending school currently, actually, she hasn't come to class for the past four months." I blurted out, trying to imagine it like ripping off a band-aid.

"What? You've been lying to us about doing better than Emilia for four months?" My mother bellowed, releasing her inner tiger to come out and attack me, the innocent (not really) bunny.

"Well, m-mother, you've never really asked, so I wasn't directly lying to you..."

"We don't care! You're grounded until you can prove to us you are a hard-working child, not a liar and a slacker." We turned, and I briskly stomped into my room, slamming the door behind me.

***

Later that day, I was trying to convince my friends that Emilia didn't do all the things that I said she did, and she wasn't a liar and a cheat, like I am, apparently. That didn't go well either. To sum it up, they told me I was going soft and becoming too forgiving. They didn't believe that I was telling them that Emilia was a good person, because they just thought I was trying to get on my parents' good side after telling them. I made the mistake of explaining what happened with my parents before telling them that I felt guilty.

It is amazing how one person's life could change so much in just a few months. I went from a jerky, top of the class student, to a happy, praised, stuck-up kid, to a guilty, weighed down by reality, average student.

Life sure is a crazy roller coaster of a ride.