With the way things are in my life, it was easy for my mind to find a dark place. That dark place has turned into the place where my depression live and thrives. I'm in that dark place often as I have many triggers that can set off a spiral into the dark. Most times nothing has to happen for me to get depressed, sometimes just feeling lonely or a twinge of sadness starts it. When it happens I feel numb and dead and my mind starts going to bad places. Bad places like self harm and suicide are the worse things I think of doing. I have actually been close to suicide, I've held the knife in my hand and I've sat in a windowsill, wanting to jump. My mind is dark but I don't need help. I know help is good but it isn't for me. Help only makes me worse. I am so broken that there isn't really help, there are breaks from the dark but it doesn't completely go away. I honestly don't know why I am depressed but I'm sure that I might figure it out.
