A second chance

Chapter 3

It's strange when you wake up differently than how you usually do. There were things that were the same, I felt my pups wriggling happily in my tummy, and my other pups curled into my body for warmth. But what was different was where we were, we had escaped, we were free. I yawned quietly, slowly slipping away from my babies, careful to let Ange lay against Casey. I cautiously walked out of the den, I sniffed the air, it wasn't stale and smelt of blood and puss. It was clean and fresh, there was sun, real sun that felt so nice on my fur. There was soft earth under my paws and trees everywhere I looked, my legs trembled and I collapsed into my side. Tears slipped out of my eyes and down my muzzle, I was so happy, it made me weak with joy. How long had it been since I had been outside, god how I missed this.

I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the sun, taking in the feeling. I knew we weren't out of the woods yet, we would have a lot more troubles up ahead, but we were free. And for now I could live with that. I stood on shaky legs and slowly spread out a perimeter around the den, I didn't need anything or anyone coming near my sleeping pups. While walking I started to think of a plan, more thought out plan anyway. I needed a map first off, it had been so many years since I was adopted at age 2, I couldn't remember what state or province or whatever this place was. I also needed money, I was able to scrape together $50, but that was saved over years of spare dollars and change. That wouldnt last for a family of 6 soon to be 8 for very long at all.
I sat and rested, damn weak body. My ears perked for sounds, I heard water to the east, so there was possibly a large water source nearby. I also picked up minute sounds of wildlife, I doubted with my almost zero hunting skills and heavy pregnant belly I would be able to catch anything, but if I needed to I would try. I stood again and stretched, shaking out my black fur, my body froze when I heard the distinct cry of pups. My pups.

I bolted back to the den, as fast as my legs would allow, my panic made bike rise in my throat making me want to gag. The dread, please let my babies be ok, please. I mounted the slope toward the den and saw my tiny Jude crying for me. His tiny body shivering as he howled and whimpered.
"Momma !!" I rushed over, whining loudly as my pup tried to run to me but fell.
I scooped him up by the scruff and pushed him into my body, frantically sniffing him and checking for injuries. Jude's poor little body trembled as he kept crying.
"What happened baby are you hurt what's wrong sweetheart ?!?!" I frantically groomed him to calm him down.
"Momma gone !! Momma gone !! Where go ?!?!" The relief made me slump to the floor.
It made Jude cry louder but I shushed him with licks to the muzzle, he was ok, nothing was wrong. He just needed to know where I was, I tucked him into my neck shivering. God how could I ever survive without my babies, I'm pathetically attached, my heart was about to stop. If anything had happened to Jude I wouldnt have been able to cope, my breathing slowly returned to normal, the pups in my tummy were in distress because of my anxiety. I nuzzled my tummy and purred softly and Jude and the twins settled down.

I slowly stood and took Jude by the scruff and trotted back to the den hearing more whimpers and cries as I got closer. My poor babies were scared to death that I had disappeared, as soon a they saw me they rushed for me on their little wobbly paws. I brought them to my body and gave them comforting licks and purrs, giving them reassurance. I slipped into the den, shifting to pick up a crying Ange, I cradled him to my chest, stroking his soft fluffy hair. I brought him to my breast and let him latch on, I purred as he suckled he was still so small he looked more like a 4 month old than a 6 month old, it worried me.
"Its ok Ange mommas here, momma won't leave like that again I promise." I nuzzled his soft downy skin with my nose in content.
One by one my babies shifted and crawled into the den, they all piled on top of me for more comfort and I gladly gave it. I knew I had to have a thicker skin, I need to be strong for my pups, I need to be able to protect them out here. Which means I can't lose my shit as badly as I did just now, I have to keep my sweet pups calm, if I'm not calm what comfort can I give them ?
"Momma where'd go ? Scared momma dont go bye bye." I pet Evees hair out of her face shaking my head.
"I'm sorry babies, momma was making sure everything outside was safe. You were all so tired momma didn't have the heart to wake you," I snuggled them closer to me and they purred in content.
"I got scared something happened to mommy, I'm the oldest I have to be brave. But .... I dont want mommy to get hurt anymore ," my heart ached as i looked at Casey's crying face.
"No baby no, my sweet boy. Mommy won't ever leave you ever. I promise, you are mommies everything I told you that.
I won't let you fend for yourself that's my job to take care of you. Your my pups, I'm your mother." I wrapped my arms around my babies and let them cry, they needed to cry away all the bad things that they've had to live through so far.