A second chance

Chapter 21

Keanai's pov

"Seer ...... you ok ?" Seer hadn't moved from this morning.
He had got up the check on the pups, and when he came back he curled up on his of our bed and hasnt moved.
"Seer ? Bub ? Come on talk to me." I watched as he flinched.
I only ever called him that, but, when the situation was bad. The situation right now was bad. I slipped off my shoes and shuffled over to his side, slipping under the covers with him and pulling him close.
"What's wrong bub ? Please, tell me your ok." He just put his face in my neck, not saying anything.
I snaked my arms around his waist, pulling him as close as possible, our legs tangling together, breathing in his pine smell.
"I'm here bub. I'm here." I felt tears slither down the back of my neck.
I hummed softly, let Seer cry, cry until he was tired. Cry until his face was red and puffy and I needed to wipe his face.
"Better ?" I used a tissue to gently wipe at his swollen eyes.
Seer just nodded tiredly, leaning his weight on my chest. I just pulled him in my lap, gently scrubbing at his scalp with my hand.
"You wanna talk about it ?" He shook his head.
"You gonna be ok ?" I didnt get an answer, just a quiet tired purr.

I just decided to stay like that, Seer needed the comfort, frankly so did I. And holding him, cuddling, was what we both kinda needed.
"I went to see Ri." I think wed been laying for an hour or so, I only realised because the pups weren't up from their naps yet.
"You did ?" He nodded, absently playing with my hair.
"I heard Warrick talking with Riku. Ri had asked if he was ok, he told him.... told him what today was." I gave his thigh a comforting squeeze.
"He started crying... it sounded so sad. Then Ri was crying with him, kept apologizing. When he didnt even do anything wrong." Seers voice cracked roughly.
"All I could hear, coming back was him telling Ri how much... how much he missed mila.... how much he wanted her back." I watched his throat catch.
"Oh, Bub." Seers shoulders shook and he started crying again.

It wasnt his fault, it wasn't. That day, Amalia was in a bad mood her parents had left her with us. She claimed she didnt need a baby sitter, we had begged to differ, Seeril especially. Amalia was the type to get in bad crowds, do things that she shouldnt for the thrill of it. He told her that she was a spoiled rebellious child, who didnt know how to do anything but risk her life for stupid thrills. He meant well, he didnt want the little girl that we grew up with, to be like us. But Amalia hadn't taken it that way, she got angry, screaming how if she was spoiled and rebellious, at least she was better than a druggie who could barely stay clean. Seer got so mad he slapped her, she ran off. He had immediately felt bad and went after her... it wasnt until I got devastating emotions coming from him from our link, that I knew something was wrong.

I found him holding her, just crying and screaming at nothing but air. I felt a piece of me die that day. Believe it or not, when it came to internalizing pain, Seer did it only when he was infront of pack. But when it was with family, you would see how crushed he really was. While I didn't care who saw if I was in pain or not. But that day was one of the few times Seer was a wreck infront of the pack, and he didnt care. He was too hurt to care. I had to give Warrick and Julian the phone call, Seeril was too upset to even form coherent sentences. It was worse when they came back home. Julian was sobbing, Warrick had a mental breakdown, trying to wake her up. When we all knew she wouldnt. When it didnt happen he just, cried.

Seeril had been terrified to face Warrick, he had put it off for over a month. Not sleeping, barely eating, just staring off into space. When they finally did meet, Warrick took one look at Seer, and cried. He ran over and hugged him, and Seer broke down sobbing in Warricks arms apologizing. That day he got the first full nights sleep in weeks.
"Its ok Seer. It's ok." He tiredly rested his head on my shoulder.
"Daddy ?" I glanced over my shoulder.
Casey was holding Dians hand, his little face was puffy and his eyes were red.
"What's wrong boys ?" I slowly let Seer slip out of my lap.
"Deedee had a bad dream." I slipped out of bed and scooped up Dians tiny body.
Casey crawled onto our bed and cuddled into Seers lap, which he was happy to cuddle.
"Aw, what happened baby boy ?" I wiped his chubby cheeks.
"It wont happen right daddy ?" Dian wrapped his little arms around my neck.
"What baby boy ?" I sat down cradling him.
" I dreamt bad people hurt you and papa. You got hurt, and we had to go away. We couldnt see you anymore. I dont want you getting hurt daddy, papa either." He sniffled, his eyes getting teary.
"Aw no, Deedee. Thay wont happen, we wont ever leave you guys. Period." He put his head on my chest.
"Promise daddy ?" I kissed his cheeks purring.
"Promise baby boy." I felt Dian settle in my arms, and his eyes closed again.
"Deedee always sleeps when he gets sad. Mommy told me he gets tired." Casey wiggled around in Seers lap to sit up.
"I bet he does." I got up and tucked Dian in in my side of the bed.
I looked at Seer, he had his face cuddled into Casey's neck, while his little arms were wrapped around his larger ones.
"Papa seems sad too daddy. Is papa ok ?" I smiled, pet his head.
"Its a sad day for papa that's all pup."his eyes went shiny.
"Why ? I dont want papa sad." I heard Seer start to purr.
"Papa and I lost a friend, todays her birthday." Casey sniffled and started crying.
I watched casey turn, and wrap his arms around Seers neck shivering.
"I'm sorry papa !! Please dont be sad papa." Seer seemed to finally come back to reality, hugged the tiny pup tighter.
"Casey." He nuzzled his face in Casey's little shoulder purring.
"Please dont be sad papa, being sad is sad." I chuckled softly, Seer gave our pup a squeeze.
"I feel better because of you pup." Casey's whole little body seemed to vibrate.
"Really ? I helped papa ?" He had a full wide smile on his face.
"You did." Seer managed a tired but genuine smile.
"Love you papa." Casey kissed his cheeks.
"Love you too pup." Seer returned the favor.
I heard Ange starting to fuss from his crib, he was finally starting to teeth, so he was a bit more fussy. I scooped up the wiggly baby and set him on my shoulder.
"Its ok baba, it's ok." I let him nibble on my thumb while I looked for a teething ring.
"Is Geegee ok daddy ?" I peeked over my other shoulder and smiled.
Seer was still kinda out of it, but he was there enough to wrap both Dian and Casey up like little burritos and hug them to his chest. The two of them looked like they were in heaven.
"Hes ok bubba, hes just getting teeth, so his gums are itchy." I managed to find it wedged between the crib and the wall.

I passed the ring to Ange and purred as he chewed. Seer had managed to roll onto his side and take to boys with him. Casey somehow wiggled up under his chin, while Dian was in the crook of Seers forearm. I moved to Seers side of the bed and rubbed his back with my arm, I put a kiss on his temple and listened to him purr in a haze.
"Try and take a nap, ok bub ? You'll feel better if your not tired." I dont think Seer could hear me at this point.
Whenever Seeril had a low day he kind of shut off, like he was conscious and awake but his mind was elsewhere. He told me once it helps with heavy mental trauma.
"You alright staying with papa baby boy ?" Casey's shiny eyes closed when he yawned.
"I'm ok daddy, being like this feels good. Like sleeping with mama." He curled closer and promptly fell asleep.
I brought Ange downstairs with me to the infirmary, Ange needed some skin to skin time with Riku.

....

"Ri ?" I poked my head through the infirmary door.
I saw him curled up on his side with the twins laying side by side next to Rikus chest. His face was swollen and pale, and his eyes looked red from tears. Warrick wasnt around so I could only hope Jules took him away to calm down. I slipped into the room and quietly sat behind him, Ange still on my shoulder.
"Sweetness ? Come on baby talk to me." I rubbed his back and watched his body slowly shiver.
"It isnt fair." Rikus voice sounded hoarse and cracked.
"What isnt Ri ?" He trembled under my hand.
"Why Kea.... why did, something like that. Have to happen, to Warrick?" I sighed, laying down and wrapping my free arm around him.
"I dont know sweets, I wish I did." He curled himself small, whimpering.
"I, I couldnt do it. My, babies are my everything. I would, i-" i shushed him.
"I know sweets, it's ok baby i know. I couldnt, Seer couldnt either." Riku cried harder.
"Every, every time I try... I, I feel so,so sick. My brain... it cant imagine. I wont imagine." I tucked the hair behind his ear.
"Shhh, it's ok baby. We will make sure nothing like that, will ever happen to our pups ok ?" He sniffed.
"Our ?" He looked at me from behind.
"You, you said our.... you've never, never said it out loud before." I blinked.

I hadn't ? Really ? I guess I unconsciously already knew they were Seeril and my pups with Riku. So I never actually felt the need to say it out loud.
"Seer and I.... we, they are already our pups. So I guess it just, never came to mind to have to say it out loud." Riku looked at me, then smiled tiredly.
He turned over on his other side taking the tiny twins with him, he leaned his head on my shoulder, a quiet tired purr in his chest.
"Thank you." I just smiled, kissed his forehead.
"By the way.... what did, you come in for ?" I smiled, adjusted Ange over.
"He was missing mommy, his gums are itchy so hes been a but cranky too." Ange saw Riku and started fussing, making whimpers and trying to crawl over.
Riku sat up alittle and plucked Ange out of my arms and laid him on his chest. Ange immediately calmed down, putting his little head into the crook of Riku's neck.
"Oh my sweet little boy, mommy's sorry. Mommy's here... mommy's here." I watched the relief settle over Rikus face.
I adjusted myself on the bed, using my arm to pick up the two tiny infants and put them on my chest. The twins were fast asleep, thankfully they didnt wake up from all the jostling. I dont know much about babies but I guessed them being good sleepers was a good thing.

"Are, are everyone else ok ?" Riku was rubbing Anges back while the little baby sucked on his thumb.
"They're fine sweets, Dian and Casey are with Seer. Evie and Jude were still taking their nap before I came down here." He seemed to release the breath he was holding and nodded.
One of the twins started to wiggle, little Wren was looking up at me, and his eyes were like liquid caramel. Beautiful amber gold eyes. I nuzzled his little head and breathed in his delicious baby powder smell.
"Hi baby boy. Did you sleep well ?" I used my thumb to stroke his head and cheek.
"Is he awake ?" I nodded.
"They really are both perfect Ri." I saw a blush creep up his face.
"You, think so ?" I nodded, but light kisses on baby Wrens forehead, he made an adorable sleepy coo.
"I do, they're perfect. All our pups our perfect." Riku blushed harder and purred.
"That's, that's all I could ever want."