Break Through My Walls... If You Can

Chapter 3

“She needs rest” the elderly doctor said. He handed me a list, “These are the medicines I have prescribed to her. Give them to her daily, after every meal. I will check on her after 2 weeks. If she still is not well, she will need to be moved to the hospital.”

I studied the list in the candle light, my eyes growing wider and wider. These were too expensive. And I had to pay Amelia, our servant. And the governess had to be told to stop coming. She could not be paid anymore. Sedna and Auzurite could not go to finishing school, we could not afford that. Erik had to be sent back to the army, for the little money he is paid. And I… I was to start knitting so I could sell it out. Ugh.  What a truly terrifying place this world was becoming.

“How am I supposed to pay you?” I asked, depressed.  Diemos stepped up beside me.

“In cash, of course. 100 pounds.” The doctor replied. I sighed. Where on earth was I supposed to get 100 pounds? And then my boy stepped up to my rescue. He handed him 500 pounds.

“This should be enough for the next few appointments, right?” Diemos asked. The doctor nodded, amazed.

“Good, then we’ll see you soon, Doctor Falcon” Diemos said gently, indicating the doctor to leave. The doctor left without a word. I turned to Diemos.

“You didn’t have to do that. I would’ve had managed something” I said. I sounded so ungrateful to my own ears. I started walking towards my room.

“Just helping a friend” Diemos replied casually as he followed me.

“I don’t care. I could’ve done something” I replied. Diemos stopped and turned me by my shoulders.

“Cordierite, would you please swallow your pride for a moment and let people who care help you? Please?” Diemos said, his eyes blazing into mine. I was speechless. I had never seen him like this. He let go. I broke the tensed silence between us.

“Thank you”

“It wasn’t a problem”

“I hope not. What is the time?”

Diemos glanced at his watch. “It’s about 8”

“You should be heading home. Your parents will be worried” I said as I breezed past him. He followed me.

“What will you eat?” he asked concerned. I opened the door to my room. The candle light flickered ever so slightly.

“We have food. Amelia will prepare something. Don’t worry” I reassured him, but in my heart and mind I was worried what would happen when we ran out of food. Diemos couldn’t help us forever. It just wasn’t right. I sighed and smiled at Diemos. He was watching me skeptically.

“We’ll be fine. I’ll send for you if I need anything, I promise. Go” I said. I squeezed his arm, trying to set his mind at ease. He pursued his lips. I smiled at him. He smiled back and for the first time that dope hugged me. I was surprised for a second and just stood there then I awkwardly put my arms around him. He let go of me after a while.

“I’ll do something about the electricity” he said. I nodded.

“I’m just going to look on Mrs. Feldspar and then I’ll leave” he said. I nodded again.

He held my eyes for a long time. Then he smiled and left my room, shutting the door behind him. I was bathed in the candlelight. I smiled at myself. God had given me an angel in the form of a best friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I spent the rest of the night in Mother’s room, watching over her. It was almost as if she was the child and I the mother. I barely slept a wink. Mother burned in her fever almost half the night. In the morning I would send for the medicine. Around 4 in the morning I tiptoed to my own room. I lit a candle and set it on my study desk. What would have to be done about the money? Well, the house’s expenses were too much for us. We’ll have to sell the house and look for something much smaller. We had to get rid of Amelia. What a pity.

Come morning light, I’ll go to the Feldspar factory and see what was to be done. Probably sell it or something. I blew out the candle and sat down on my bed, in the dark. This was so tough. With Father around, we never had to worry about all this. Maybe Father really wasn’t so bad. But if he wasn’t, he would never leave us with this. Why did he have to die? Why did he leave us in this mess? Why did he have to take an overdose? How dare he talk about dignity and respect? Did he not think that such an act would be a stain to the dignity of the Feldspar family?

For the first time in years, tears formed in my eyes due to the frustration I felt. This was so unfair. I wiped them off harshly with the back of my hands and lay down. I closed my eyes and soon fell into a disturbed sleep.  

Mrs. Feldspar>>>>