Break Through My Walls... If You Can

Chapter 6

I sat down on the bed in the guest room I had to myself. I lay down. How would I tell this to the rest?

I got off the bed and padded down to Diemos’ room. Without bothering to knock, I opened the door and stepped into the room. There was a small nightlight illuminating a soft glow throughout the room. I tiptoed to him bed and sat down on the corner.

He looked so peaceful sleeping. I caressed his hair. I didn’t want to leave him. Not my best friend. But our relationship would be so stressed because of his statement last night. I closed my eyes, my hand still stroking his hair.

Something warm patted my face and my eyes flew open. I glanced down to see Diemos awake, a smirk playing on his lips, his hand on my face. He still had his quilt pulled up to his chin. But I could tell he was shirtless, judging from his bare, muscly arms.

“Cory” he whispered. The way he said it sent shivers down my spine. In a good way.

“Diemos” I replied. He smirk grew wider and I giggled.

“What’s up?” he asked. He sat up straight, the quilt falling down to his navel. I couldn’t help my eyes scanning his chest. Gulping, I tore my eyes away from him.

“Um… nuffinmushwanidtotalktoyou” I said incoherently. Diemos raised his eyebrows. I shook my head, trying to clear my head from unholy thoughts.

“I wanted to talk to you” I said, more clearly. I bit my lips when I noticed my voice was quivery.

“Oh? What can a girl possibly want to ‘talk’ about when she enters a man’s room without knocking, in the middle of the night, wearing a mere silk nightgown?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. I glanced down at my nightgown and blushed. Laughing, I hit his chest and my hand paused there. Without knowing what I was doing, my hand ran over his smooth, hard chest. I didn’t realize what I was doing, but I was fascinated. I had no idea I could feel this way.

“Cory” he groaned. I looked up at him and pulled away immediately, pushing myself off the bed. He had his eyes closed. We both were breathing hard.

“I’m sorry, Diemos” I muttered, looking at my feet.

“It’s alright, let me just pull on a shirt” Diemos whispered. I felt him get off the bed.

“Good idea” I approved. He chuckled.

“You can look at me now” he whispered softly. I turned around swiftly and found myself in his arms. His face was inches away from mine, our nose almost touching.

“Diemos” I whispered. I closed my eyes, feeling his warm breath caress my face. He leant in and kissed me. My first kiss. His lips were soft, tender, gentle. They didn’t demand, they requested. I kissed him back with whatever I had in me. After what seemed like hours, we pulled away for air.

“I love you, Cory” he muttered. I pulled myself away from him, reaching over and slapping him. He stepped back, shocked.  

“Jesus, Cory, what the hell?” he exclaimed angry. I was angry at him as well. But I was angrier at myself. How could I let my guards down so easily?

“Never again tell me that you love me” I snarled. I turned my back on him so he couldn’t the tears pouring down my face. I hated crying so much.

“Oh please, don’t tell me you don’t love me!” Diemos retorted.

“I don’t!”

“You’re lying to yourself!”

“Shut up, Diemos! Stop it! You’ve ruined everything we had in between us, everything!” I cried. I whipped around to look at him. He just stood there, disbelief written across his face.

“I came here to tell you that I’m leaving as soon as the sun comes out. I signed an agreement with a family. They will buy our house and the factory. They will come talk to you” I said, tears flowing freely down my face, “And I need you to tell Erik that he has to go back to the army and tell Auzurite and Sedna that I left” I said this all without taking a breath. Diemos just stared at me.

“So you’re really leaving?” he asked as it finally sunk in.

I simply nodded, not trusting myself to speak again.

“You won’t stay, even for me?”

I shook my head no.

“Alright… alright, Cory. I just hope that you don’t regret your decision”

I wiped my tears as more surfaced.

“Cory, I really do love you… but don’t expect me to wait forever”

A sob escaped my throat and I turned away.

“And Cory, no matter what happens, if you can, please come back to me” he voice broke at the end.

I almost ran to the door.

I needed to get away from him.

Crying freely, I ran to my room and sprawled on the bed.

He was right.

I did love him.

I just wish my ego would let me accept that.

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I crept into the girls’ room, kissing their heads and whispering unheard promises that I would always love them and that I would come back. I left a letter on a table and went to Erik’s room. I went as far to plant my lips on his forehead. He resembled Mother remarkably. Unable to control my tears, I left the letter dedicated to him and hurried out of the room. My luggage was already placed in the awaiting carriage. Amelia knew about my departure and she came out to bid me good bye.

It hurt me that Diemos had not come to say his good-bye but I expected no less. It did come as a surprise, however, when Amelia thrust an envelope in my hand.

“It is from Master Diemos. Cory, my child, I hope you return. He really is in love with you” Amelia said. I nodded and smiled in response. I gave her a bone-crushing hug and ran to my carriage.

As the carriage started moving, I carefully opened the letter. It read:

Dearest Cordierite,

You are already aware of how I feel for you. I believe that you are in love with me too. You may disagree, but you do. I would know.

I promise to wait as long as I can, but please, my love, don’t let me wait too long. Come back to me. I need you, Cordierite. How do you expect me to live now? In the past 15 years, not once has a day gone by when I didn’t see you. You have become a part of me.

Cordierite, this letter is not the only thing that you have of me. You take my heart with you.

I wish you well on wherever you may embark your journey.

Once more, return. I promise to keep you happy. Please come back when you can.

I love you.

Yours for life,

Diemos

I teared up a little. Carefully folding that precious piece of paper, I put it away in my bag.

I would return, when the time was right.