My Nightingale

An eternity

Chapter 3

(1 week later)

Demi's POV

~Flashback~

I was on my way home from Marrissa's when I got a phone call. "Hey Dems." She sounded so broken, so lost I immediately fell to my own demons at her hurting. "Maddie, what's the matter baby?" I could hear her soft breathing on the other side as I gripped the steering wheel. A soft breath in and she continued. "Demi I just want you to know tomorrow may be hard for you because of what I've done tonight but I need you to be strong for me-" a tear slipped and I couldn't find my words to keep her from doing the unthinkable. The lump in my throat and my sobbing prevented my logical explanation for her not to do this so I did the only thing I could; beg her to stay. "Maddie are you trying to kill yourself? Please don't go! I need you!" The pain in my heart continued as the world around me became blurry and I stifled my sobbing with one hand. She sighed then it was dead silent and for a second my heart stopped. Until I heard her beautiful voice again. "Demi, I'm going peacefully hearing your beautiful voice." I cried harder now, it felt too late already I wasn't even on our road yet, I couldn't reach her in time. I sped up. "Please-" I mumbled against my shaking hand and phone. "-you don't know how much I need you,stay with me. I'm almost home." I barely got out my sentence as I pulled into the driveway slamming my car door and sprinting upstairs tear-stained and shaking from my half panic attack. I held her in my arms kissing her over and I've again. She smiled causing me to cry harder even though I forced a smile for her. "I died to the most angelic voice today." I cried harder squeezing her hand as the light left her eyes, I had to be strong I had to be. "I love you Maddie, infinitely." I mumbled as she closed her eyes finally falling into death itself.

~End of flashback~

I shot up in bed but curling up and sobbing once I realized I was reliving the nightmare for the 4th time tonight. I sobbed loudly not caring if Marissa could hear me from the other room. I was broken, hurting. I pushed myself up from my LA bed and walked dead towards my blade. I closed the door silently falling to the floor and bringing my knees up to my chest as Marissa's pattering of her feet grew in the distance. "Demi, don't do this again." I sobbed as she picked the lock for the second time tonight and dragging me into her lap. "I don't want to live without her." I mumbled and Marissa gripped me tighter. "Demi it's gonna be okay-" I cut her off. "No! No it's not! She's gone Marissa and it's all my fault." My voice had started off strong but faded shakily with every word that passed. I didn't want to move or to feel or breath I just wanted to be by her side. She was my sister, the one reason I was alive and those stupid kids at that school took her away from me. First mom now madison. I clawed at my eyes and Marissa quickly pried my hands away from my face. "Please stop-" I pushed her off angrily in a fit of rage and she stood up as I shoved her out of the bathroom quickly grabbing my blade and I dug it deep sliding it across one time before, once again she had her arms around me. I fought her trying desperately to reach my blade. I didn't want anything more at the moment. Marissa held me as I crumbled against her chest letting her support my weight. "I think it's best if you go back to timberline knolls." She whispered crying herself. I knew she was hurting and mourning all of our losses but she seemed to only fall apart when no one was around, hiding her emotions except the forced smiles that no longer lit up the entire room. Neither did mine, well if I would ever smile again. I hadn't even left the house since I got back to LA I didn't tweet, didn't talk, didn't live or love I was just here. I broke down again starting to cry again. "M-mar, I can't do this." She gripped onto me tighter her tears soaking my shirt as we held onto each other. "Yes, yes you can remember your a warrior." I shook my head, the tears still falling fast. "I-I don't k-know w-what I-I am any-anymore." I whispered against her chest and she gripped onto me pleading for me to stop crying, to heal but I can't find a way to heal from this. She was silent unknowing on how to help me anymore, she herself had run out of will to tell me to be okay in her own fit of tears falling down her face. "You can't break down, you have to be strong." I whispered and she helped me get back into bed laying beside me and sniffing. "I'm trying, so damn hard to keep you afloat because I know you have millions counting on you, hoping you'll be okay." Even with with her arms wrapped around my frail body I still couldn't feel, there was a reason I hadn't opened up yet because I felt I might break you know, break in two and fail everyone because I'd be unable to continue. Marissa began singing to me. "You gotta be stronger." She whispered and continued singing me to sleep. Her voice cracked just as I drifted into sleep leaving her to cry herself to sleep. I felt bad that I was the one she wasted her time on. I couldn't be fixed not before death, not in a million years.

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This chapter was so hard to write I kept revising it. Making it better, hopefully.

Should Demi continue dating Wilmer?

Stay strong

~Hannah