We'll Start All Over

Chapter 4: The First Time

After a week of reading the scripts, following stage directions and getting things in order, they finally reached the kissing scene. Michelle's father and some understudies were sitting in the audience, and Aly felt nervous. She liked Michelle, and somehow that made it all the more embarrassing, to be kissing somebody she considered a friend.

It's just an acting role, she reminded herself. This isn't me. It's just my character, kissing another character.

Yet she felt all eyes were upon her as she delivered the line, "Oh, my dearest Mitch, please don't leave me again!" and Michelle moved closer and closer, embracing her and planting her lips on hers for a good second before Aly pulled away uncomfortably. She had been soft, and gentle, and Aly felt her heart racing, fire burning in her cheeks. Their small audience laughed and clapped, but Aly felt she wanted to run away.

"I... I think we'll call it a day!" she announced, and hurried backstage. She fled into the dressing room, and to her dismay, saw Michelle following. Michelle came in and closed the door.

"I'd rather be alone," Aly said, as Michelle came in and closed the door.

"You've never kissed a girl before, have you?" Michelle said gently.

"No... of course not!" Aly said.

"I can tell," Michelle smiled, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's an acting role, Aly."

"I know," Aly replied, "It's just... everybody was watching, and..."

"Everybody will be watching on opening night," Michelle said, "They'll be expecting a convincing display of affection. You can't worry about your own personal inhibitions, otherwise that will show through and nobody will believe that Sasha loves Mitch."

"I'm sorry," Aly said, "I feel like I'm being a pain. Perhaps I just need some practice."

"So we'll practice here, where nobody is watching," Michelle said, "Then next time we go out on stage, it won't be a big deal. It's my fault, I should have realized you'd never done this before."

Michelle came closer and Aly felt terrified. She wanted to flee, but she knew that if she did, her role in the performance was over. If she couldn't kiss Michelle in private, she would never be able to pull it off convincingly on stage.

"Just relax," Michelle said, putting her hands on Aly's bare shoulders. Aly felt her touch jolt right through her, "Don't pull away, just let me kiss you. Think about somebody you like if it helps."

Aly felt Michelle come close and tried to think of someone else, some past boyfriend, but nothing blocked out the intoxicating scent of Michelle, or the feeling of her plump breasts pushing up against hers through the costumes, or the soft feeling of her lips as she kissed Aly gently. Aly relaxed and felt warmth flowing through her.

"There," Michelle pulled away and smiled, "You did OK that time. Just do that and you'll be fine."

Michelle left then, and Aly stood there. She could feel where Michelle's hands had been on her shoulders, could feel tingling in her body where their breasts had rubbed together, and her lips felt cold without Michelle's warmth.

She found a seat and sat in it, trying to process her feelings. Had she been without a boyfriend that long? She wondered, and supposed it was true. She hadn't dated since high school, because she'd been busy working on her dream.

Michelle's touch haunted Aly that night. She couldn't stop her mind thinking about what it would be like to have Michelle touch her all over, run her hands down her back, up her thighs. It drove her crazy and she couldn't sleep.

She wondered if it had been a bad idea to take the role. But she knew that if she pulled out now, the theater would close without ever having a chance.