In Love With My Best Friend

The Truth Can Hurt

Its monday morning, which I like to call monday mourning.... Mourning the loss of my bed when I have to get up. i have never been a morning person but i said id meet Mikey at the train station before school and get there early and get a book from the book shop a couple blocks down from school.

He likes to read, he likes fiction, but he wants it to feel real and believable "none of that fluffed out love story bullshit" Is what he would say. He also enjoys reading non-fiction books, I think he mentioned thats what he was buying, Tweak by Nic Sheff. There is a movie coming out soon based off the book and his fathers book called 'beautiful boy" and he wants to read them before the movie is out.

i like that about him, he knows what he wants "the bookshops where i come from would never sell books like this unless you asked them to order them in, thats what i like about the city, there is something for everyone"

to: Mikey

I'm here

to: Oliver

be there in 2 min

He used the bee emoji to resemble the word 'be'

luckily we left two hours earlier for school because we went and got coffee and then spent an hour and a half in the bookshop, Dymocks on collins street, its like an underground bookshop and its absolutely huge. The first book Mikey found was tweak, within the first five minutes, and then we went our own ways, separated by the isles. i loved when id come across him and he would be sitting on the ground entranced by a book he was trying to figure out.

i appreciate people who appreciate books, it is thoroughly important, especially if you wanted to be friends with me.

Later after lunch, we went to drama, the last session of the school day. Mikey was complaining about the weight of his school bag as he was lugging around all the books he bought this morning since lunch, i was feeling the same.

Drama was somehow different than last year. Kenzie is so talented its actually crazy, but you can tell she is uncomfortable in her body, i don't understand, i think she looks beautiful... and so does Ash, who cant take his eyes off her as she recites something from shakespeare. Mikey has so much confidence its crazy, but his not obnoxious, he doesn't know his talented, he does a monologue from 'Call Me By Your Name', is he sending me a hint? maybe. Ash is more into music than drama but i think he chose this class so he could spend more time with Kenzie.

when drama is over i wait for Gracie at the gates and we go into the city for coffee and shopping. i feel like i haven't caught up with her as just us in forever, which is crazy because she is my best friend. "Okay so, would you rather wear a hat made out of spiders, or have penis' for fingers?" she looks shocked, but also like she expected this "will the spiders bite me?" "No" "will i feel pleasure every time i touch something?" "is that something you want?" "i mean if I'm going to have 10 penis' i would like to get SOME kind of pleasure out of it. i guess it would be good if i ever wanted to experiment with girls... which i don't because that would be weird" we both laugh "imagine keeping a secret like that from your best friend of since you were born" well this is changing direction... is she trying to tell me something? "i mean its not like either of us would care would we? its not like 16 years of friendship would be wasted over such an unimportant factor. something that doesn't define us or our personalities" Okay, something is up "Is everything okay Gracie?" "No" shit. "whats up?" it surely cant be worse than what I'm thinking "My mum. she has a girlfriend. i didn't even know she was gay... i mean lesbian... i mean gay, they're the same thing right? i don't know Oliver i feel like my whole life has been a lie, i cant believe she lied to me, and my dad? was she with him out of convenience?" i could tell this was really bothering her, but would she feel the same if this person wasn't her mother?

we sat and talked. For a long time. And then we shopped and talked. For an even longer time. By the time we were on the train home i had a completely new wardrobe "you can stay at mine if you want, you're always welcome" "thanks but you've helped me realise that my mum probably feels worse than i do right now, just knowing I'm upset. i should explain that its okay i was just confused"

we went our separate ways and i told her to message me if anything changed.

it was 10:30 by the time i got home and my mum had left dinner in the fridge with a note on the door. i love that woman so much. i eat and then i go upstairs and check my phone before taking a shower. i had a message from Mikey asking if i wanted to hang out, he sent it 3 hours ago. worried i had made him think i was ignoring him i explained the situation and offered to hang out tomorrow and work on our biology assessment that was due in a couple of weeks. i know its a long time away but I'm thinking if there is an excuse it wont make me look obsessive... which i am not. i take the longest and hottest shower of my life and crash on my bed before i can even get under the covers.