The Romantic Art of Bitchcraft

Party Favors

*So this is another AU, and it takes place in the Harry Potter universe. Just to set the story up, Madison is a Slytherin (shocking, I know, but she truly values her own ambition above all else). Zoe is a Hufflepuff (not because the other Houses were closed options for her, but because she values loyalty above all else, and she is loyal above all else). Nan is a Slytherin (the girl literally loves being in Hell, so go figure). Queenie is a Gryffindor (do I have to explain this one?), and she befriended Zoe in their first year when the two had a bunch of classes together. Cordelia is the Headmistress, but she kept her old job as the Herbology teacher. Misty is the Care of Magical Creatures professor. Myrtle Snow is the sassy Potions teacher. I absolutely LOVE Harry Potter, so this AU was bound to happen at some point, I just didn't know when. Also, this one's long as fuck, so maybe get a snack and settle in. Anyways, y'all let me know what you think (like if any of the characters should have been sorted differently or taught a different subject or something), and most of all I hope y'all enjoy it.*

   Madison stood outside the Owlry, puffing on a cigarette.
   She wasn't really sure what to do.
   It was Friday, and she really wanted to get out and have fun. Her whole time at Hogwarts, she'd heard nothing but stories about the epic parties thrown by the sixth and seventh year students that only they were allowed to attend. Now here she was, finally in her sixth miserable year at this joke of a school, and she had yet to be impressed by any sort of gathering.
   Not to mention the mounds of homework her teachers had all piled on her. She had so many different papers to ignore, and she really didn't want to even look at any of them. She wanted to party! Was that too much to ask?
   Apparently it is, she huffed, smashing the butt of her cigarette out against the ground before stretching, the moonlight making the grounds of the school look eerie from way up in the Owlery. She shook off the spooked feeling, trotting back down to roam the lengths of the dark, abandoned corridors.
   She didn't yet know where she was going or what she was doing. She'd already wasted a good hour and a half on borrowing a few owls to send her Potions professor several letters of hate mail. Each one was signed by different immature pseudonyms that Professor Snow was sure to grow irritated at, such as Hue Mongous, Ida Clare-Thissux, and-- her personal favourite-- Juana Bang.
   Currently, however, her night seemed doomed to an early end, and like hell was she going to let that happen without a fight.
   Maybe she could go down to the lake? She'd seen a tentacled something swimming by the windows of the Slytherin House Common Rooms a few times. Perhaps she could get it to swallow a few bottles of alcohol. I mean, how amusing would it be to see a giant, drunk squid flailing around in the inky depths?
   In fact, Madison had rather settled on that idea when she bumped into a small group of fellow Slytherins led by none other than Nan, the most vicious of Hogwarts' seventh years.

  "Where are you going?" Nan demanded, already glaring at the blonde with a look of murder.
   "That's not your business," Madison said smoothly as she put her hands on her hips, not willing to take crap from anyone, even if that someone was a skilled torturist.
   "Calm down, blondie," Nan sneered. "I could care less about a stuck-up slut like you. I was just making sure you weren't about to rat us out."
   Madison regarded the group.
   "Oh, please, everyone knows snitches get stitches, even in the Wizarding World. But besides that, what could I possibly rat you out on? Breaking curfew?"
   "No, not for curfew, dumbass," one of the witches, Bette, giggled. "For the party!"
   "You know," another witch, Dot, drawled. "The one Gryffindor is hosting in the Forbidden Forest?"
   "Oh, that one," Madison spat, rolling her eyes. "I heard it was going to be lame; did they ever even get their hands on some butterbeer?"
   She was lying, and a little offended actually because she hadn't heard anything about a party in the Forbidden Forest. Still, she wasn't going to admit that to these bitches.
   "Better," one boy, Dandy, replied. "They scored some Firewhiskey!"
   Okay, now that was impressive. As stupid as any Gryffindor student was, even Madison had to admit that sometimes their empty-headed bravery paid off.
   "Well, I guess that does sound slightly tempting, if you have nothing else going for you on a Friday night," Madison allowed.
   "Don't lie," Nan scoffed. "You're obviously amazed, and everyone in school knows you're an alcoholic. Why don't you tag along? It's not like you have anything better to do."
   Madison shrugged, playing it cool.
   "Thanks, but I actually have other plans."
   "Yeah?" Nan quirked a brow. "You mean like trying to get the giant squid in the lake drunk?"
   Madison blushed, a little embarrassed that the witch's clairvoyancy had called her out on her bullshit.
   "Hey, you do you Montgomery," Nan laughed, patting her on the back. "If you get tired of sea salt and tentacles, maybe even swing by for a shot or two."
   From that one touch, Madison heard the witch's voice clear as a bell in her mind, and it wasn't the words everyone else heard the girl saying:
   "Keep away from that party, slut, or you'll have bigger worries than your precious reputation."
   Nan pulled away, a menacing smirk on her lips.
   "Have a nice night," she sneered at the blonde, before she and her entourage bounded off back down the halls, towards some amazing party that Madison would now never get to attend, because even she wasn't dumb enough to disregard a direct threat from Nan.
   What really sucked was that the seventh year was right; it's not like she had anything better to do.