Personal Goddess ~ BTS FF

Chapter 7 - Rejection

The dream I had now was beautiful. Just me standing in a field full of flowers, the sun shining down upon me. Enjoying the feeling, I sat down, my fingertips grazing the petals softly. This was nice. Just existing in this dreamworld where no other emotion than complete bliss was available. The bright blue sky above my head almost hypnotizing me. I could finally feel myself regaining strength for the moment, the headache going away fully. 

A slight chuckle escaped my lips as I saw me and Jiyong running over the field, our childlike appearance and clothing showing how long ago this was. Suddenly a thunder started to sound in my dreamworld. The sky darkening rapidly, tons of clouds appeared on it. My heart started to beat faster and a long beeping sound filled my ears as I saw him. His black hair. His dark grey eyes. The concerned look that had been on his face since the day I saw him.  

I stood up as I saw my child version turning around to him, smiling brightly. "I've never seen you before.", I said, my voice as light as the bells they always played in the temples. GD had a pout on his face, as I walked towards the grey-eyed boy. Sticking out my hand, my smile didn't fade. "My name is Mila. Do you want to be friends?", I could hear myself asking cheerfully. The boy took my hand and nodded, a slight smirk appearing on his lips. 

Suddenly the memory faded and I was left all alone in Blackness. Goosebumps running over my whole body as I heard a voice. His voice. Come back to me. I shook my head violently. "No.", I finally got out, even though my voice sounded weak. I'll get you then. A laughter breaking out all around me, I curled myself up to a ball, trying to hide myself from him. 

With heavy breaths I woke up, shaking all over. My vision blurry. Stumbling out of the bed, I noticed that GD wasn't next to me anymore. Getting to the bathroom in a hurry, only one second went by before I was standing in the shower with my clothes on, the cold water finally fully pulling myself back to this reality. Going down, I squatted as the water ran over my head. I could hear Jiyong suddenly entering the bathroom in a hurry, immediately sinking down next to me. His hand floating above my head, he ulitmately pulled it back. GD knew that I didn't want to be touched right now. "I'm sorry. I had to answer a call and thought it would be okay as long as I stay near you.", he said quietly, squeezing his hands together as hard as he could. I could tell that he was devastated that he had left me in that nightmare. 

Minutes went by until I looked up from my arms. Taking that as a sign, Jiyong helped me up, softly caressing my back until we sat down on the bed again. I didn't care that I soaked the whole bed with cold water. 

Grabbing a towel he started carefully drying my hair, waiting for me to talk. "I saw us at first. It was nice. On that field behind the large temple.", I started, a slight smile on my face. "I remember it. We always used to play there.", GD nodded, a smile on his face. My own smile faded as I continued. "I saw the memory of when we first met him. How I asked him to be friends.", Jiyong's hand stopped moving on the top of my head. "You don't have to worry anymore. He's dead.", GD mumbled, taking my hand. 

I wanted to believe that. I really wanted to believe that. 

I'll get you then.

Shaking my head, I stood up. "I don't think so anymore.", I said with a firm voice, looking Jiyong in the eyes as he frowned. "Why would you say that?", he asked carefully. Maybe this wasn't a good thing to tell him. If he knew that he spoke to me, GD would immediately go to my parents and demand safety keeping back in the house for me. And I wouldn't get out of that in the next hundred years. So I just played it off. "Just a dumb thought. You're right. There's no way he's alive. I was just a bit off because of the nightmare.", I answered, forcing a smile. He didn't completely believe me - but I had never lied to him so he seemed to just accept it as the truth.