In any halfway house or mental institution anywhere in the world, go up to the main reception desk and ask for "The Holder of Stupidity." The fear that will take the receptionist face will be of great humor. As they laugh their ass off, it them in the head with a clip board. Don't let them finish laughing, lest you suffer a fate far worse than death (You'll have to marry Justin Bieber, even if you're a dude.) It will be a while before the receptionist wakes up, but when they do, they will open a hatch in the floor that leads to a cellar.
Walk down the stairs and carefully stare at the darkness in front of you. You might miss a step, but if you look down, IT will get you. IT is a hideous troll. Keep your eyes infront of the darkness infront of you. Once you arrive at the bottom of the stairs, walk down the dimly lit corridor. At the end of it, the receptionist will be holding a door open for you. You will not know how they got down here before you did, as they did not pass you, nor even have come down with you. Do not ask them why this is, unless you want to experience the furious furry furrious azz raep.
In the room where the receptionist will holding the door to it for you, you will see the TROLOLOLOL. It will challenge you to a game at which it will fail. Even if it beats you, it still loses at it is violating the "All TROLOLOLOLs must fail," law. After it loses the game, it will remain silent. It will only respond to one question, "Hurr durr da durr?" It will answer in extremely vivid detail, the history of stupidity in the world, from the protozoa that dominated the Earth, to the fall of the Martians, to every stupid thing you or somebody you know has done, until the end of the world. Most go mad after hearing this tale, others commit suicide, but others do the worst thing, they give the TROLOLOL head after it finisishes as it will become the most beautiful man ever, even the most homophobic man can't resist.
The strong ones will receive a broken laptop. This is item is number 666 of 538. These items must never come together. Derp.
