𝒢𝑒𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒞𝓁𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓇 [spirk 18+]

The Begining of Opening Up

The smile he received was wide and beautiful. Dimples on the edges and plump lips. Spock remembered how those lips felt on his. Spock remembered the time that Kirk was so desperate for him that he turned to the only alternative that was logical to his human mind. He remembered when Kirk would make an effort to entice him, to entertain him, to get closer to him. After the day that Spock rejected him, only three weeks ago, Kirk changed considerably. After the short period of seeming to dwell in his own depths of despair, Kirk began to smile again, become social with the crew again, and the negative mood on the bridge reverted to positive once more.

There was a distance in the stunning smile Kirk gave Spock in the hall. It was there, but it wasn't genuine enough to be there truly. Spock knew the importance that today had for the Captain. The reflection of this day was evident in Kirk's behaviour. Though it would be a long time before Spock was gifted with an honest smile from Kirk, he knew that Kirk was in high spirits on this day. "Captian, Happy Birthday."

"Thank you, Spock. I generally would invite you for a drink but I understand that Vulcans do not drink alcohol. There will be no use for you," Kirk laughed gently.
Spock nodded but gave no sign of laughter, "you're correct sir."

Kirk's smile faded, "good luck with your duties Spock."

Spock could feel his heart stutter in his chest as his Captain walked away. He knew he had to do something about the link between himself and Kirk. Kirk was slipping away from him every day that Spock refused to open up completely.

As Spock began to walk again, he was steady, unlike his heart. He'd known the consequences of ignoring his emotions and regretted letting them consume him in the first place. His head became faint on his way to the medical wing. Spock's vision followed suit. It was inevitable that he'd pass out before reaching his destination. "Spock! What the devil is wrong with you?" Dr McCoy shouted in Spock's direction as his heavy body collapsed. McCoy didn't hesitate to set him up in a bed in the medical wing. He was placed under the doctor's temporary surveillance.

"Where is the nurse when I need her?" McCoy groaned as he gave Spock a medication to even his heart rate. He'd fainted from an elevated blood pressure due to some sort of physical (or emotional... which McCoy almost ruled out had Spock not started crying when he woke up) stress. Spock could see both sides of the room at the same time as his eyes moved side to side rapidly. He opened his eyes fully and felt warm tears blanket his bottom eyelids.

"Doctor I... I don't know what to do about this emotion I've begun to welcome."

McCoy twitched an eyebrow upward and nearly laughed, though he found nothing humorous about the situation. "Finally," he rolled his eyes, "you better talk to Jim about this 'feeling'. Assuming of course this is related to him. It would explain Jim's own ever frantic emotions lately," McCoy paused for a moment before bringing his eyes up to meet Spock's, "you best be quick before he gets HIV from sleeping with every goddamn crew member aboard this ship. That'll be a medical issue I don't want to deal with."

Spock was immediately conflicted. He was delighted by McCoy's humour yet pained to hear that Kirk had been sleeping around fondly. "I'm unsure how to approach him."

McCoy stomped, "just tell him how you feel dammit!"

Flinching, Spock was shocked by McCoy's outburst... had he always had this attitude or had Spock just never noticed it when supressing his feelings? He nodded and stood up. Before he could attempt to leave, McCoy shoved a PADD in front of him. "Record your attendance to this medical check-up and you can go." When Spock signed, McCoy patted him on the back and let him leave... seemingly rooting for Spock, who'd finally come to his non-logical senses.

Charging through the deck's intersections, Spock made his way to Kirk's quarters determinedly. He wasn't sure if Kirk would be there at the time, though it was the first place to look for him. When he'd finally reached the door, he knocked, given no response. "Captain, if you're inside, please let me know," he hesitated.

The door clicked and opened suddenly, hissing as it welcomed Spock to his Captain's room. By the door was Kirk.