Island of the Unemployed

SIMON

They meandered through the corridors of an aging apartment building. The floor creaked, and sank beneath the weight of their footsteps, as they searched for the number Sophie had given them. The building was in such deplorable condition they thought they must have had the wrong place.

Sounds of people getting ready for work leaked out into the hallway through large gaps at the bottoms of the doors they passed. Finally, they came to an old weathered door. It was flimsy enough to give one pause before knocking on it for fear it might open accidentally. The numbers '321' were nailed to it.

"Here it is!" Marcus said, waving River over.

They knocked, and waited until a short thin elderly gentleman in slightly tattered clothing opened the door, and looked at them inquisitively.

"Hello," River said, hesitating at the appearance of the man. "We were told Simon lived here."

"Yes. Indeed, he does," the man replied cheerfully. "In fact, I am he."

"Oh. My name is River, and this is Marcus."

"Yes. I've been expecting you. Please come in!" Simon coaxed them inside, and closed the door behind them. No sooner had they stepped inside the apartment, when the man stepped close to Marcus.

"My! You do have an unusual face, don't you?" he said, putting his hands up to Marcus' cheeks, now red from embarrassment. "It is quite unusual-looking, isn't it?"

"I have a disease," Marcus replied, with extreme discomfort.

"Yes! I can see that!" Simon said, enthusiastically.

"I'm sorry if it bothers you," Marcus wished the man would step back.

"Oh, it doesn't bother me in the least! In fact, I think it's marvelous!" Simon replied, backing off to a comfortable distance.

"Excuse me?"

"I love it!"

Marcus hesitated. "Are you being funny?"

"Of course not. Why would you think that?" Simon looked perplexed.

"Well, most people...don't exactly...find my face attractive," Marcus replied.

"Oh, and they're right! In fact, it's hideous!" Simon replied cheerfully. "But, it must be good."

Simon walked over to an old wooden chair positioned by a weathered table. He sat, and invited them to do the same. They sat at the table, and looked around at the apartment. It would have been considered shabby by anyone's standards, barren of any furniture, besides two beds, and the wooden chairs they sat on. Dishes were piled high in the sink.

"Is there something bothering you?" Simon asked, noticing their perplexed expressions.

"No. Nothing." River replied.

"Are you sure. There seems to be something bothering you."

"Well...your apartment."

"Oh," Simon replied, looking embarrassed. "Yes. I know what you mean. It is nice, isn't it? I feel a bit guilty taking this for myself, but no one else wanted it. Can you imagine?"

It wasn't difficult to imagine at all. "Yes. Surprising." River replied, more from a desire to say something in return rather than providing a genuine answer.

"Ah. I see you have an appreciation for such things!" Simon said, with a gleam in his eye. "I can find you one just like it if you like if you like."

"No. That's okay." River shook his head, and gave out a nervous laugh.

"No. I insist!" Simon responded.

"Um, okay. Thank you."

"You're quite welcome. It won't be a problem. They're surprisingly easy to come by." Simon looked happy for River. "So, tell me. How are you adjusting to your new environment? I know it's a bit different than the virtual reality you're used to. What do they call it? The Grid? Much better, don't you think?"

They paused in confusion. "You mean, do we like the real world better than the Grid?" River asked.

"Real world? What do you mean 'real'?" The man seemed puzzled.

"You know. Not virtual," River said with a half-smile. Surely, the man was toying with them.

"Oh! You mean real compared to what you're used to in the Grid," the man concluded. "That is true! That technology sounds quite primitive!"

"Primitive?"

"I mean, compared to this," Simon waved his hands around as if to indicate the room around them. "This is much more authentic-looking, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry." Marcus shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about?"

"I mean everything that you see. Look around. Doesn't it all seem real?" Simon patiently replied.

"Of course, it does. That's because it is real!" River replied.

River's response struck Simon as being so funny he slapped his knee laughing, then paused, noticing no one laughed with him. "You were joking, weren't you?"

"No, I wasn't," River said, trying his best not to offend.

"There you go! You see? You see how good it is? You didn't even notice it wasn't real!"

"But it is real. There's no virtual reality here. We're not living in the Grid anymore!" Marcus said.

"It certainly appears to be real, doesn't it?" Simon replied gleefully.

"But it is real. See?" River knocked on the wooden table. "It's physical. Not virtual."

"I'm sorry," the man replied. "I don't follow you."

"I'm just saying this table is physical, so it must be real."

"But, my dear boy, how could it possibly be real if it's physical?"

River and Marcus looked at each other in confusion. The island leader was obviously insane! "You honestly don't believe this table is real?"

"Of course not. How could it be? As you already pointed out, it's physical." Simon turned to Marcus. "You have a wonderful avatar, by the way."

"What?"

"Your avatar. I'm sure it's difficult for you, but it must be good."

"Are you talking about my face?"

"Oh, no," Simon said, with a serious look. "I meant your entire body, of course. What do you think of mine?" He stood up, and looked down at himself. "Some are not so impressed, but I think it must be good. So," he said, sitting back down again. "We should get down to business, don't you think? What did you come here for? You need a place to stay, yes?"

"Yes," River replied.

"I'm sorry we're a little unprepared for you, but you must admit you didn't come in the usual way. Fortunately, as you can imagine, places open all the time around here. We'll need to find you jobs too. River, I think I have just the one for you. It seems to me the welcoming committee would be a perfect fit."

"What's that?"

"You welcome people to the island, help them get situated. That sort of thing. Now, Marcus, I understand you ran a clothing store in the Grid. How would you like to run one of ours? I hear an opening just became available."