Taking place just a year after the events of What You Left Behind , Chanel is in a different space in life . Finding yourself can be hard , but finding yourself while letting go of who you thought you were is the real challenge.
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Chanel
I finished Aniyah's second French braid as Joel finished feeding Johan. It had been a while since we had caught up so we decided to spend this Sunday evening eating some homemade Shrimp and grits, watching Christmas movies and catching up. Aniyah stood up from the pillow she was sitting on, turning around she rubbed her eyes, her silence indicating that it was naptime. Reaching for her arms around my neck she rested her head on my shoulder, I stood up to carry her into the spare bedroom. I laid her down tucking her under the covers, as I went to leave I heard her move around and speak.
"Titi Nel?" I turned around to see her rubbing her eyes looking at me.
"Whats wrong Niy?"
"Why did you go away?"
"I didn't go anywhere honey, I've just been busy and I wanted to be my best self before I came to see you."
"Were you mad?"
"No sweetie."
"You were sad?" she questioned, genuine concern in her eyes as I walked back over sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Yeah honey, a little bit."
"Sometimes I get sad, like when I brokeded my Minnie Mouse watch, and then I think about Daddy and Mommy and it had felt better a little." she stumbled over her words, talking fast like David.
My heart went warm hearing her talk about her parents. I guess I'd always felt close to Aniyah because I saw a lot of me in her. Her parental situation was certainly a lot more complicated than mine but somehow it always felt like I was looking back in time whenever I looked at her.
"When you get sad what do you think about to make you feeled better?"
I smiled as I went to tuck her in tighter. "Hmm I think about my brothers, and sometimes even your mommy" I said being honest. When you have thoughts of wanting to leave the whole world behind, remembering how your best friend would feel can sometimes help you remain grounded...sometimes.
"Mommy and Daddy said if you ever get real sad again you staying with us yung lady" she said waving her finger. I laughed in amusement
"Okay okay, well lets get some rest, you been fighting your sleep all day."
"Okay." I kissed her forehead and walked out the room down the hall. Johan was up bouncing on Joel's lap as she held him with one hand reading something on her phone in the other. I walked over to where they sat in the middle of my floor as Johan looked up at me kicking his feet making noises that indicated his excitement. I reached down picking him, he kicked more and began laughing a little as I held him up to my face giving him butterfly kisses.
"Look Jo" I said amused as I tried to get her to watch how excited the simple gesture got him.
"Mhm its all cute until he-" before she could finish her sentence he unexpectedly he sneezed right into my face. Looking startled for just a second, then bursting into laughter, I was done with him.
