The girl who chased the moon

Chapter 6

By the time I stumbled back into the chateau, day had almost broken. I was so tired, my lack of sleep beginning to catch up with me, as well as my hangover. As I walked up the long drive way, I saw the door swing open and a blur race towards me. 

The blur was Brendan. 

"Where the hell have you been?" he said, hooking his arm around me, though fury etched into his features. "Out" I answered, pushing away from him and heaving, fighting back the urge to vomit. 

"Have you been drinking?" he sounded shocked and appalled, like a disappointed parent. Why is everyone treating me like a child?!

"A little" I slurred, my vision crossing. 

"You bloody idiot!" he swore, and helped me into the house, "I swear Beatrice I never thought I would see the day!"

I giggled, "Not the first time"

He rolled his eyes and dragged me up the stairs, slamming the shutters with one hand as he passed, blocking out the rising sun. "Get changed" he said through gritted teeth, turning away. I sobered, he tapped his foot impatiently and silently I undid my dress, slipping off my clothes and putting on a night gown. "Ready" I whispered. 

He turned around, sharply breathing in, as if bathing in the sight of me. Walking forward, he caressed my cheek with infinite gentleness, I captured his hand in mine, holding it against my skin. His eyes widened, and I smiled softly. 

As he leaned down, I let out a gentle sigh, our foreheads resting together. I closed my eyes, his fingers entwining with mine. We stood like that for the longest time, the air between us humming, every breath only fuelling the intensity of it. 

Tilting my head up, his cool lips brushed mine, his arms winding around me and pressing me close. "Felix" I sighed, smiling to myself sleepily, burying my head in his neck. 

He froze and suddenly, I was pushed roughly away, yelping as my back hit the wooden pillar of the four poster. Without a word, Brendan rushed out the room, slamming the door. I gasped, suddenly realising what I had done. 

I ran out the room, "Brendan!" I called, running down the corridors and after him, banging my fists uselessly against his firmly locked door. Tears welled in my eyes, brought on by my own stupidity and selfishness. "Please! Open the door!" I could hear no movement on the other side and assumed he had gotten into bed and was ignoring me. "Brendan! I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry, please let me in!" 

I collapsed against the door, sobbing and yanking my hair in fury. "Please" I gasped quietly, my eyes closing and tears slipping down my scarlet cheeks, "please"

*****

When I woke up, I was in my own room. The moon was hanging like an giant orb in the sky, and clouds swayed across the sky, carried by the gentle breeze. I stepped through the billowing drapes and onto the balcony. I rested on the iron rail, closing my eyes, pushing back yet more tears. I had potentially lost one of my only allies, and more importantly, my friend. 

I longed to sail away on the breeze, to simply glide through the air and escape. Going back inside, I washed myself down, and tied back my hair, though the odd strand escaped the bun I had tied tightly on the top of my head.

I gazed at my hand, accutely aware of my missing finger, and suddenly I longed for it to be whole again, my hand looked odd, deformed and unnatural. Outside, the nightingale sang sweetly on an over hanging branch. "Horst die nachtigalenschlagen" I sang, remembering my first kiss. Remembering Felix. I brushed my fingers over my lips, which were swollen from crying. I felt so guilty, my insides knotting to the point of physical pain.