"So, step 1 we gotta go to Victoria's Secret and then sephora and fix this... situation.." I say gesturing at her face
She shoots me a dark look but says nothing.
We arrive at Victoria's Secret shortly after, and I pick out 10 bras. We make our way to the cash.
"That will be $400.00" the lady says and I gasp.
"BITCH WHAT THE FUCK? FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS? THIS BETTER MAKE HER TITS MAGICAL" I look down at my wallet and count a total of $7.48
"Uh... BAM MOTHERFUCKER!" I say as I punch her in the face
I sprint the fuck out of there, flipping everyone off.
I see Stacy handing over a wad of cash
"STACY NO DONT GOVE DEM ANYTHIng"
I grab her arm and drag her outta there running
She throws the money at them "IM SORRY FOR MY INSANE FRIEND"
"Stacy you stupid lil bitch do you know nothing" I say angrily
I slap her in the face cause wtf bitch, and dart off under the comfort of my cape
"THEYRE ARE PEOPLE- okay I'm sorry I raised my voice. But they're are people needing money for their kids and I'm not going to steal" She runs off after me.
"THE BIGGER PICTURE YOU LIL BITCH! We can afford such set backs so throw your moral compass away and follow my map of morally incorrect insane decisions"
"Are you forgetting you were just arrested for nearly the same thing?"
I roll my eyes and darg her into the girls bathroom
"BITCH LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING. I was arrested by Jake. JAKE. His sad ass mall cop ass self isn't a threat to us"
We arrive in Sephora and I decide to attempt something I've never attempted before; subtlety
I begin to shove makeup pallets in my pockets and down my pants and Stacy glares
"We can't Aurora! It's not right!" Stacy's eyes fill with sadness "Okay fine let's quietly rebel" she says deviously
Stacy sneaks an eyeliner in her pocket and we run out crazily
As soon as we get out of the store she starts balling
"Why did I do that! I'm such an awful person. Oh god oh god!" She cries
"TOUGHEN THE FUCK UP" I slug her in the arm
"Ouch" she cries out miserably"
"Come on you lil hoe let's make just as slutty on the outside as you are inside if you know what I mean" I wink and nudge her
She does the duck faces and make a whore pose, "Yass gurl let's go"
I began to paint makeup on her face heavily, but not too much. We wouldn't want her to get mistaken for a creepy clown!
"SLAYYYY BITCHHHHH"
"Alright now we gotta find a bitchy grandma and you have to slap her in front of Jake."
We walked around and I tried to plot out our next move. Jake was still working so we just had to find where he is and have an elderly woman be there too. I looked around and spotted at woman who appeared to be 400.
Now, we need to cause a disturbance, so we could lure Jake in.
I walk over to a seven year old grab his ice cream and throw it at his face
I then grab his arm and judo flip him off the bench, his bitch ass self starts crying
The kid wails and I wait for a few minutes to no avail. Jake didn't show up
I have to kick it up a notch.
"What here is flammable?"
I whirl around and see Sharkisha, a girl from my classes. Her weave flows in the wind and I suddenly come up with a genius idea. Her hair is foshizzel fake and probably make of polyester, perfectly flammable. I take my flame thrower out of my bag, thank god I remembered. Times like these make me happy I'm so smert.
"BURN BITCH BURN" I cry out. I light her hair of fire and she screams, "AARGHFHSIJCUASIB THATS MY REAL HAIR HOE"
Jake runs in and I begin to see all the flaws in our plan. Jake wasn't going to stop and watch the grandma get punched while I was being detained, also there was the matter that the BITCH with her hair on fire was still on fire.
Jake stood analyzing the situation with confusion. Now was our chance. "PUNCH HER NOWWW" I screamed before taking off running, he'd never catch me.
I watch as Stacy makes the move. As her fist collides with the grandmas face I cringe. Stacy seemed to be in more pain than the elderly woman was.
She clutched her hand and I sighed.
Jake stands immobile clearly confused by the entire situation
The woman hits her with her purse and struts away
Stacy begins crying again
Jake tackles me to the ground
"Bruh chill Sharkisha looks fine" I roll my eyes at him
So over dramatic.
And that's the story of how Stacy broke her hand punching an elderly woman.
