JungIl's Diary (And More Underrated Ships)

JungIl: Letting Go



Jungwoo can see everything in a blurr. When they said everything would be okay, he seems okay with it when his members told him they have gone through the same thing as him.

If there is anything in this world that would and should completely understand NCT's concept, it would me the members, of course. Even before debut, they were all educated already. All those sleepless nights of practices, they were already told that their concept is not easy, first time in the history. That they will have to bear being able to debut units per unit, numbers by number, and some of them may belong in more than one unit. They were all aware of that. The tiredness that they have to endure when they hit big or the stress they will face if they not.

Like all of their sunbaes, they didn't hit big on their debut. A lot of criticisms were thrown. They were not excused to being called as "worthless" or "typical" like their seniors. Maybe that's the SMEnt's curse. To be hated and ignored by the public in their debut. Because for Jungwoo, and the rest of NCT, the concept that they have is really weird even for them. They became helpless and hopeless. Especially for the leader they all are acknowledging, Taeyong. Being leader of this big number in a group is really a tough job. Something Taeyong himself is really grateful for the division of units. Atleast someone will stand as the leader, other than Taeyong himself. And that's what Jungwoo is really proud of Taeyong. He handles the group well amidst the past history. If Jungwoo is in his shoes, he won't be able to do it.

"Jungwoo!" A faint yell was heard from somewhere. But since the lad is lost in his self-pity pain, the voice became just a part of his imagination.

He felt some warm presence rushed to his side before a hand slightly brushed to his and snatch the cup beside his fingers. By then, he finally acknowledge that presence. As he lift his eye towards the person, the tears he had been trying to hold firmly in his tearduct, accidentally fall.

"What's taking you so long? The room is already in chaos." Strong manly scent in a mixture of sweat and strong perfume invaded his smell. Jungwoo realized the situation he is in, but instead of panicking, he calmed down.

"Hyung." It came out as a whisper. The male stopped on his tracks and turned his head towards Jungwoo. The latter remembered again why his heart is beating loudly, rapidly, but calmly. Is it that possible? For Jungwoo and his hyung, it is.

Jungwoo knew that his time to finally join NCT 127 is finally here. There are a lots of question clouding up his head. Questions that are most about his worth. Does he really deserve to be a NCT 127's member? His hyungs already garnered a big foundation of fans, even Kun (who was first introduced in NCT life and even if he had not yet debuted at the time) and Lucas (who even if they are one of the NCT's Power Couple, he and Lucas, Lucas' visual and personality attracted a lot of fans more than him). Jungwoo knew that this is going to happen, NCT U is not a fixed unit by the way. But he won't deny that he is weak in the adaptation department. And that's what's bothering him. His problem is like Winwin's problem in speaking Korean even if he is already learning it for two years.

He felt intimidated joining his hyungs, especially the seasonies are already being informed that this is a fixed unit. Jungwoo has fears. That fear of rejection, that fear of being not be accepted by the public. Especially that 127 hit big with their "Cherry Bomb" release. Doyoung and Jaehyun are really welcoming, they were the first to befriend him because Taeyong welcomed him as the leader of the group and Jungwoo knows that barrier. He's thankful though for the two. But what really Jungwoo's heart is aching for is not just him entering a fixed unit that already built a foundation of popularity and for his weak adaptation process. What makes Jungwoo's heart aches is Taeil's care for Jungwoo.