FUNNY MARVEL QUOTES

Iron Man

If you douse me again, and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college. Seriously, we're just gonna start off with 1% thrust capacity. And three... two... one.-Tony Stark on Dummy

Please don't follow me around with it either because I feel like I'm going to catch on fire spontaneously. Just stand down. If something happens, then come in.- Tony Stark to Dummy

Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.- Tony Stark

Oh, no, I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in a room full of people I work with in a dress with no back.- Pepper Potts

I don't think you could tie your shoes without me.-Pepper Potts

I'd make it a week.-Tony Stark

A week, really? What's your social security number?-Pepper Potts

Five...- Tony Stark

Five? You're missing just a couple of digits.-Pepper Potts

Right, the other eight. Well, I have you for the other eight.- Tony Stark

You've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?-Christine Everhart

Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint.- Tony Stark

Well, Ms. Brown. It's an imperfect world, but it's the only one we got. I guarantee you the day weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I'll start making bricks and beams for baby hospitals.- Tony Stark

Rehearse that much?-Christine Everhart

Every night in front of the mirror before bedtime.-Tony Stark

I can see that.-Christine Everhart

All I'm looking for is a straight answer.-Christine Everhart

OK, here's a straight answer. My old man had a philosophy: peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy.- Tony Stark

That's a great line, coming from a guy selling the sticks.-Christine Everhart

You must be the famous Pepper Potts.-Christine Everhart

Indeed I am.-Pepper Potts

After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry cleaning.-Christine Everhart

I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?-Pepper Potts

Don't ever, ever, ever, ask me to do anything like that, ever again!-Pepper Potts

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy from the...- Tony Stark

Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.- Coulson

Whew! God, you really need a new name for that.- Tony Stark

Yeah, I hear that a lot.- Coulson

Jarvis... sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.-Tony Stark

How'd you solve the icing problem?-Iron Man

Icing problem?-Iron Monger

Might want to look into it.-Iron Man

Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago.-Pepper Potts

It's funny, I thought with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me.-Tony Stark

Tony, I need to speak to you about a couple of things before I get you out...-Pepper Potts

I mean, doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?-Tony Stark

No, you see, this isn't a game. You do not send civilian equipment into my active war zone. You understand that?-Rhodey

It's not a piece of equipment, I'm in it! Its a suit! It's ME!-Tony Stark

I'm sorry. This is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is back there.-Tony Stark

If you'd killed him when you were supposed to, you'd still have a face.-Obadiah Stane

I didn't authorize this.-Tony Stark

Well, your company did.-Christine Everhart

Well I'm not my company!-Tony Stark

[talking over phone] What the hell is that noise?-Rhodey

I'm driving with the top down.-Tony Stark

Well, I need your help right now.-Rhodey

Funny how that works, huh?-Tony Stark

Yeah. Speaking of funny, we got a weapons depot that was just blown up a few klicks from where you were being held.-Rhodey

Well, I'd say that's a hot spot. Sounds...-Tony Stark

[takes a breath]

...sounds like someone stepped in and did your job for you.-Tony Stark

Why do you sound out of breath?-Rhodey

I'm not. I was just jogging in the canyon.-Tony Stark

I thought you were driving.-Rhodey

Right, I was driving... to the canyon... where I'm gonna jog.-Tony Stark

You have a lot of nerve showing up here tonight. Can I at least get a reaction from you?-Christine Everhart

Panic. I would say panic is my reaction.-Tony Stark

I don't have to do anything. I've been in captivity for three months. There are two things I want to do. One, I want an American cheeseburger, and the other is not what you think. I want you to call for a press conference.-Tony Stark

Sir, it appears his suit can fly.-Jarvis

Duly noted.-Tony Stark

I thought I lost you back there!-Tony Stark

You did, sir.-Happy Hogan