Ice Cream (Completed)

Ice Cream

There are so much that I want to talk about. I don't want to tell anyone about me but I think this is the only way for me to be able to breathe even just a little from those things that has been suffocating me ever since I became 'something' I'm not proud of.

I want to talk about my life, the people that I - I can't believe that I'm going to say this - care for, my friends, my feelings, the situation I'm in, how hurt I am right now and... her.

But it wouldn't make sense if I start talking about them, those things in here.

Let's just talk about me for a little so you'll have an idea on what kind of a trash your hero slash villain is.

You see, I have this, what my friend always say, a sick personality. He always tell me that for a human being, I have these weird interests.

I like seeing blood, organs, death and destroying virginity.

Well, I kind of understand him. Even I often think that I'm abnormal, too. But what I want to share is... I'm not a normal human being as you think I am. People around me doesn't even know that I'm not a normal human being as they see me.

As crazy as it sounds, I'm a student; Death's apprentice.

Yeah, call me crazy, insane or whatever but I'm just telling you guys the truth.

At first I, myself couldn't even believe that I became an apprentice of Death. I mean, the concept of Death for me is kind of out of this world, insane and absurd. And I ate my words because I became one of the soul taking entities.

At first I find it cool but when my 'teacher' told me the rules of being an apprentice, I became... I don't know... lonely?

Well, hey. They took away the only things that make me happy and alive: Killing people, devirginizing the girls that I get and... loving.

I accepted killing and devirginizing to be taken away from me; I accepted those two things that make me happy. Sure, even if those two things are hard to put out of my system, I'm sure as hell will try to stop myself from doing those but... loving? If I wasn't strong, stupid and naive enough, I would have died because of emotional torture.

Yeah, I thought that 'love' is stupid, that loving someone is a waste of time, that loving someone is a suicide, and loving someone is a pain in the arse but... then again, I ate my words because I, myself, fell in love.

Really, I don't know what to do right now.

Should I be contented with what I'm doing right now so I can keep her or... should I tell her my feelings and let my confession become a waste when those Deaths take my life?