pencil shavings

four: sam

I still hold grudging antipathy toward fate, don't get me wrong, but I suppose at times it's acceptable.

They may not help all that much in the whole writing thing, but somehow their presence has become, I don't know... bearable?

" - up and give me the pen, you -"

" - one second I'm busy, unlike some -"

"- I've got stuff to do too, you know -"

Peter's funny.

I mean, he acts like he can't be bothered with any of us - and then there's the whole feud with Matt - and the sarcasm, God - but I can tell he really cares and he just can't admit it. Boys.

And Matt... aside from being flawlessly gorgeous, he's probably the same. Pushing us away but never wanting us to really leave.

"-think that's a good plan?"

I look up, stretching my legs onto the floor and roping my hair on top of my head. "Yes. Personal backstories tonight, and then we can join them together tomorrow."

Peter nods once, loops his long fingers into his pockets, then ducks out the door into the still-bright courtyard. "See you, then" he calls without turning around.

"Bye."

Matt watches his lanky form recede onto the sidewalk for a minute (and I awkwardly watch him), before he chin-nods toward the Jaguar out front with a pretty girl in big sunglasses tapping the horn. Just like in the movies, I swear.

"Bye," he mumbles, flashing a heart-melting smile before taking the steps two at a time to reach that car and kiss the model-girl.

I nod a goodbye, gripping the strap on my saddle bag with a tight sigh.

Their engine's growl is loud enough to announce to the world that, yes, Matt Ko has left the premise.

Tourists inch along in front of me as I stroll down Fay Avenue, all huddling around a map and jabbering in an exotic combination of syllables, but I don't mind. My thoughts have floated away into this story, and I don't think I can get them back anyway.

The first chapters would switch between a third-person narration of each of the characters...

"Sam!"

And then they would all collide in this place together and it's just one nara-

"Sam!"

And then...

"Samantha Hadds?"

I slow with a reluctant sigh. "Yes, Toby."

"Sam! It's been a while, yeah? You seem happy and lovely as always-"
"Toby. I went to homecoming with you once. Please take the hints?"

Toby smooths his blond hair back and gives me what he must have thought was a Matt-Ko-grin, but came off more like an angry chimpanzee snarl.

I close my eyes.

"Well, I was gonna grab a coffee at Mocha's-"

"Great," I dismiss, folding my arms and walking away. "See you in August."

I don't look back - with Toby Schwartz looking back is the equivalent of accepting a marriage proposal - as I round the corner and jog down the street. The slight guilt hovers over me like a fat fly, but it was Toby. Toby who stalks me almost anywhere, Toby who last semester texted paragraphs of prom proposals (me: "we're Sophomores" Toby: "I just want our everlasting love to be confirmed, you know? I'm dedicated."), Toby who I stupid stupid stupidly had brought drooling on my arm to Homecoming. I will never forgive myself.