Something More

1

Allison

"I don't know. It just doesn't feel right." I tell my cousin after trying on possibly the thirteenth outfit this evening.

"I'm telling you, the black one was the way to go. Here, I even have the perfect earrings to match it."

Nikki strolls across her studio apartment to find the right accessories while I toss the pink shirt into the pile with the other rejects. Fishing out the promising black halter I find she was right, the earrings look great and it gives me some hope.

"I still don't understand why you gave me the ticket. Your work gave it to you so aren't you supposed to go?"

Nikki works at a radio station and occasionally gets cool perks like concert tickets. She got one for Antidote, who is doing a small show in the city, and insisted I go. I mean sure, I'm a fan, but she loves music too. These are her work perks and she's practically throwing me out the door and to the concert.

"Aren't you a fan?" She asks. You could say that. I love their music, I have their album and follow them on social media, but I just feel a bit guilty. I knew she could read my emotions and I didn't answer as she continued. "No, I don't have to go. The tickets are available, but rarely is anything mandatory for someone on my level. However, since these boys are apparently on such high demand I could only get one ticket. I'm sorry you have to go alone." She apologized while we made eye contact through her vanity mirror.

"Are you kidding? Don't be sorry. It'll be a blast either way! I just want to be sure that you don't want to go instead. I don't mind staying her-"

"Al, calm down. I've got work stuff to do and you're the one who seems to be a bigger fan of this band anyway. Besides the whole reason you came to New York was to have some fun remember?"

"Yeah."

I remember. Like it was yesterday.

My mom had been making a lot of phone calls lately. Through my impressive eavesdropping skills I knew most of them were either to my aunt or my cousin. I had only been at my mom's place for two weeks; graduation was a few days before I arrived. I only came home because my mom thought I 'shouldn't be alone in that apartment right now'. Then she sat me down and suggested I go spend some time with Nikki in New York.

I love my cousin and I love the city, it just felt like I was being passed off to a different babysitter for a few weeks. When I talked to Nik about it later that night she assured me that she just wanted us to spend some time together and that it was a chance to unwind after the past couple of years. I don't know why I let her try to convince me for so long, I knew that a few days later I'd be leaving Alabama and headed to New York.

Now here I sit, getting ready for a concert that I should be over the moon for. And I am. I can't wait, really! It's just been hard to get too excited for much of anything lately. I've been in the city a week already and Nikki has taken me to all the museums and monuments. We went shopping and she showed me some of her favorite places. We stayed up late talking about everything under the sun, but I still felt like my happiness didn't reach where it used to.

Though, New York was a welcomed distraction, maybe a little more time or a new distraction was what I needed; a new adventure to help me move on completely.

Is it fair to move on? Is that okay?

"Promise me you'll have a good time tonight?"

I guess I'll have to save those philosophical thoughts for later.

"I will." I didn't sound convincing at all, but I gave her a soft smile through the mirror anyway while finishing my mascara.

"You look good, doll. Now call me if you need anything and stay safe out there. Is your phone fully charged? And you have the subway directions I gave you? Yes?"

"Yes to both." I laughed.

Nikki could be so overprotective sometimes. She didn't have any siblings and because I didn't either we felt practically like sisters growing up. When she moved to New York a few years ago I was so sad I considered transferring to NYU for college. Of course I didn't and we kept in touch, especially after the diagnosis. She was my rock and she still is. She's always wanted the best for me and I know that's all she wants now.

"Okay. Seriously have the best time and take tons of pictures and tell me all about it when you get back!" I assured her I would do all of those things while hugging her before making my way out of her apartment building and into the bustling streets of New York City.

It was a beautiful and warm day in New York, summer just starting to set in. That didn't stop a chill from running through my body. Feeling my stomach rumble and my fingertips tingle I paused to mentally put all bad thoughts away before crossing the street. When I turned the corner and skipped down the subway stairs the sign in front of me started to blur. Catching myself on the railing, I took a moment.

No. This isn't going to happen tonight.

Looking through my bag, I tried to find something that would help. I found a lifesaver and popped it in, letting the sugar flow through me as I made my way to Radio City.

Approaching the block I can see the line of girls anxiously waiting for the concert. As I joined the giddy teenagers I moved my thoughts to the show. Even though I did feel bad taking the ticket from Nikki she couldn't seem to care less and I actually really do like this band.

The truth is every girl that has a heartbeat probably likes Antidote, except for Nikki, apparently. They're music is so beautifully written and perfectly harmonized, and they're looks aren't so bad either. They just released their debut album last year with multiple hit singles taking over the radio. They're from the UK so they did a small European tour before touring a bit of the United States.

As I said, everyone is quickly falling in love with this band and it's not hard to see why. You have Alex Knight, funny, boyish, a little naive and always single. Then David Armstrong who is by far the most responsible one of the group, but still cracks a few jokes and seems really sweet. Matt Lancaster is super athletic, well they all are, but he is probably the funniest and sassiest. He is also the one most likely to break the rules. Typically he and David would be opposites, but sometimes Matt can get David to loosen up. They are also the two that keep steady relationships. Then there is Jamie Jones, the biggest heartthrob of the group. There is no main front man of the band or anything, he is just so charming that everyone wants a piece of him, and the tabloids paint him as quite a ladies' man, so those pieces might just be available. He's the total package really. Funny or serious, sweet or mysterious, whatever is needed, Jamie seems to have it.

~*~*~*~

The concert has been beyond amazing so far, being front row may have helped some with that wow factor. I don't know if my mind was playing more tricks on me or not, but it seemed like Jamie was making eyes at me a few times during the concert. Not those weird 'Ew, you look funny' kind of eyes or even the simple 'Hi, thanks for coming' type, but more like the 'Hey, I want to say something to you, but I can't because I'm on stage giving a concert so I'm just going to stare at you' kind of eyes. But I'm not complaining. He can hang out on my side of the stage and smile at me all night long.

David began speaking to the crowd telling us they only had a few songs left, resulting in a roar of protests. I barely noticed the other three boys huddled towards the back of the stage until I felt a familiar pair of green eyes on me, the same green eyes I felt all night. I made eye contact with Jamie as he smiled and immediately glanced down to hide my blush. When I looked back up he was walking to his microphone across the stage with an even bigger smile across his face while Alex and Matt were laughing behind him about something. Do I look funny? Is that why they are so smiley and giggly? I must have something on my shirt or in my hair maybe.

The song had already started; I was too lost in my thoughts and Jamie's smiles to notice. I started dancing to the upbeat song, trying to ignore my silly daydreams and the strobe lights causing a migraine. I don't know when I began feeling cold and sweaty, but I definitely felt that way now. I tried to reach my hand up to feel my face when I realized I didn't have much control over my limbs. I started to see shiny dots enter my vision and wondered if they released some confetti, though that didn't seem quite right. To be honest nothing really felt quite right. I looked back up to the stage and Jamie was spinning, no, the room was spinning. What is happening? I felt myself falling and the last thing I heard was the girl next to me gasp before everything went black.