Ella Revival

Is There Anybody Out There?

I heaved a long, retiring sigh. I took another deep breath. 

This must be the end. 

Though uncertain about where I am going to be, either at perfect peace or in utter judgment, I shall leave everything behind now. I could no more find other way to way to ease my suffering. Besides, its not that long until its very pang finally trap me to dead end, ultimately crushing me between its sharp cruel teeth. 

Yes. This is way better than that, right? 

'Jump already, bitch! Go ahead to your closing act, you liar! Do it!' 

Therefore, with eyes still shut, I let my trembling body fall to the waiting streams of rage below. I cause myself to settle into the dark expanse of nothingness as if I was to soar despite the brokenness of my wings. No, I'd been wingless for quite an eon of time now. 

"No! Hold on! I'm here, I got you!" 

That voice... 

I managed to smile. I was more than content to be able to hear his voice for the last time. Even if it's just a hallucination. 

"C'mon Ella, trust me! I got you, baby!" 

How I missed that sound! That loving concern he'd always shown towards me. If only I got another chance to see him, to be with him. If only I was to be born in this world again, there's nothing I wanted so true than to have him with me. And when that happens, I won't screw it up. 

"I'm sorry Jace. For everything. I missed you so much," I utter in dire regret. If only... 

"I know. I love you baby, I forgive you. Please, open your eyes now. I'm here Ella." 

Why does he always have to be so kind? Always giving me things I don't even deserve? A sob escaped from me regardless of the lump lodging in my throat, and I was crying before I knew it. My heart was heavily bombarded with guilt and self-hate. No, I won't let him do this again. 

"I can't," I shook my head. "I guess it's too late for that now." Coz I've had enough of my own foolishness. I'm tired of hurting you again and again, Jace. 

"No, believe me. Open your eyes, I'm here. It's not late, and never will it be. Just look at me-look at me Ella Crossroads!" 

Can I? Really look? At him? 

Is this even happening for REAL? Or is it only a part of my wishful thinking? Am I just hearing him out of my hopeless hallucinations? I'm not so sure what is what. 

But suddenly, I feel suspended; the icy river not yet swallowing my limp flesh to its endless depth as I anticipated. Moreover, I notice that both my wrists are clasped in a firm grip which seem to not let me go, like there are hands holding me- 

Could it be that...? No, that's impossible. Downright unreal. 

Still, would it hurt if I linger a little? To get my tiny hopes up for the last time? And to permit myself one fleeting moment of happiness? 

I wish not. 

With that, I nervously opened my eyes, blinked twice, and saw a star-the brightest among all I've seen, shedding light unto the dark world I'm in. 

"I love you," I said, cracking the sweetest smile I could possibly give. 

Making the star shone even brighter. "I love you too. Hold on, I will save you." 

But his presence had done the job faithfully; I already found my peace. Now, I was more than willing to go-to let him go. 

Finally sinking into the swarm of icy waters, I felt unusually light; no baggage from the past weighing me down. Just floating, going with the swaying flow of impassivity. Soon after, I sensed something tepid came to encircle my body, like I am being embraced, decreasing the glacial temperature that circulates round. 

"Thank you," I express my gratitude mentally as I cling to that relieving warmth. Until exhaustion eventually took me in a dreamless hibernation.