ღThose Momentsღ {Ficlet/Oneshot Collection}

✖CRACK! Akatsuki When Drunk✖

Pein stormed down the halls after hearing bullshit ruckus. Usually the base was quiet, or at least not filled with fuckery like the kind he was gaping at right now.

"What is going on here?!" His yell earned the attention, and many bottle shattering against the grounds because of shock, from his members.

The Naruto definition for Akatsuki is very sophisticated: an organization of criminals; like a gang, a 'badass' gang of badass members...and they all happen to be attractive (yes, that includes the creepy-looking ones [they have something that's attractive, i.e Kisame, Kakuzu, Zetsu, etc.])

BUT!

...

 "Well?" Pein's foot tapped on the concrete floor, waiting for a response from any of the flushed members. But the first one to speak up only worsened the situation.

"Holy shit..." Sasori hissed as he staggered up to Pein, and pointed his finger right at Leader-sama's face—now laughing uncontrollably. "YOU GOT A FACE!"

Before Pein could even respond, Tobi dashed past them.

"LOLOLOLOL!!" He was sprinting around the whole base like a kitten under the influence of cat nip.

Pein waved Sasori away, ignored Tobi's level of suicidal annoyance and turned to his right-hand man, Zetsu, whose face was frozen in a pained smile.

"Zetsu, what the shit happened here?"

"Hm..."

"Well!? What happened?!"

And then... Zetsu giggled. "Pfft! You got me, but I'm feeling gooood~!"

Pein facepalmed. "For the love of-"

Itachi suddenly joined in and dropped his head on Zetsu's shoulder— Zetsu didn't even flinch. Pein sighed in relief to find at least another member who probably had better control. Probably.

"Finally. Itachi, what is goi—

"Oh shit..." Itachi grumbled with a hand running through his hair and pushed his bangs away from his face so Pein could see the fluster on Itachi's flushed face.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?" Pein blinked twice him, but once Itachi shot his head up, Pein stepped back in bewilder. Something was not right with the legendary Uchiha.

 "Oh mah gawd..." Itachi grunted, then chuckled. "Where's a fangirl when I need one?"

Pein immediately dismissed himself and whirled around only to crash into another member, except this one gave him the creepy shivers. Deidara flashed Leader-sama a very flirty smile, to which Pein swallowed hard at.

"Uh, Deidara?"

"So delicious..."

"Huh?"

Something is definitely, DEFINITELY off.

"It's hot, hot! So delicious, I put them boys on rock, rock~ So delicious!" Deidara sung, flipping his blonde hair to Fergie. "They want a taste of what I got! I'm Fergalicious~!"

"BAH!" Pein stormed past him. He groaned in embarrassment behind his many piercings only to join a debate between Kisame and Hidan.

"Stupid asshole!" Kisame waved his fist at Hidan. "How dare you compare my No-No area to sushi!!?"

"Ahhh-shaddap! You can kiss my motherfucking ass, that's what!" Hidan countered, or at least he thought he was since his fists were punching a concrete wall. "Ye loser!"

"SHADDUP! I HATE YOU ALL!" Kisame scolded before dropping into a fetal position, which caused a Lol'ing Tobi to trip over and fall face-first onto the ground.

Pein rubbed the annoyance out of his forehead as he stood in the middle of a drunken mess. Who did this? Pein whipped his head everywhere, side to side until he caught Kakuzu standing frozen just staring at nothing. Sighing for the umpteenth time, Pein cautiously walks up to Kakuzu.

"I'm assuming you're smart enough to be sober?"

Kakuzu blinked, turning to Leader-sama. "Dude..."

Pein quirked a brow.

"Duuuude..." Kakuzu whispered; Pein furrowed his brows.

"Dude?"

"Dude!"

"What's dude?" Pein inquired until Zetsu appears right next to him.

Kakuzu's green eyes dart and lock on Zetsu. "Dude."

"Dude." Zetsu now takes over with Kakuzu.

"Dude!"

"DuUUUde!"

"Fuck this." Pein turned on his heels only to dodge a groping Itachi, jerked away from a twerking Deidara and almost tripped over a whimpering Kisame, who was still balled up on the floor, until finally he crashes into the last member whose face wasn't flushed.

"Konan, where the shit were you?" Pein lectured his right-hand woman. "Can you believe this shit? What happened? This place is a mess!"

"Pein, Pein calm the hell down," Konan huffed. "It's only alcohol; it'll wear off in a few hours."

"We are in the middle of a very important mission to capture all the tailed beasts and all my members are fucked. How did alcohol get into my base anyway?!"

"Pein." Konan wore a dead serious expression as she turned to him in a robotic manner, her hands curled into fists and her jaw tightened. "I have lady needs."

"So what?!"

 "I need my wine, but they drank it."

"Well your shit wine got all my members drunk!"

"They used my paper to play tic-tac-toe, and I don't like my things touched."

"So you got them all drunk for that?!"

"Sorry not sorry, Leader-sama." Konan shrugged. "But all of them will be sorry once I develop all these pictures!" She pulled up her camera, flashing a smile so bright, the sun quit its' job.

And Pein... well, he just let it happen.

...

In the Japanese dictionary, Akatsuki is translated into "dawn."

And that is what is going on right now. Why? Well let's just say that one day when alcohol was suddenly found at the deepest end of the fridge, all the Akatsuki members "dawned" from their Akatsuki badass skin.

Every single one of them.

•:*:• •:*:••:*:• •:*:•

[[A/N: .___ . I...I don't know how to explain this, except credit a Google picture I found: Akatsuki when drunk . xD]]