Recovering

CHAPTER ONE

   Ayah woke up tired to get ready for school and heard her mom waking up her brother Hassan
"Yalla get up Hassan."

"Okay" he groaned.

   As I heard him waking up I knew I still had about thirty minutes left to sleep.So I slept those thirty minutes like a baby.After Mama went and dropped Hassan at his bus stop she came and interr
upted my sleep aswell and woke me up.I got up right away and jumped in the shower ,afterwards I prayed Subooh(morning prayer) and put my clothes and hijab on  and out the door I went.

××××

   We were at my bustop and I kissed Mama goodbye.I headed up the bus and sat next to my bestfriend Amna who was also sudanese and like me wore the hijab.

   Me and Amna were talking normally and she showed me an instagram girls picture (@jasmeannnn)admiring how beautiful she was and then she said words I would never think to come out of her mouth.She said,"Why do we even wear the hijab I wish I could show my volumnous curly pretty hair like I used to and like the instagram models , more people are starting to show their curly hair." and I think i should because like is the hijab right for me" she said.I looked at her speechless not knowing what to say and she had a look on her face that sort of showed that she regretted saying that to me.She knows that i am honest with here but that always want her to choose,but we were the hijabi sisters
×forever together×

   I decided to ignore her which was a bad decision and I acted like nothing happened the whole bus ride and just went on my phone memorizing my ayas(quran verses)given to me by my teacher to recite on Saturday.When she saw me speechless she put her headphones on ,she kept the face of regret the whole ride to school and i decided to do the same except she was watching youtube videos on curly hair routines instead.

  We got to school and I ignored her the whole day I really need to think this through I thought to myself.I was in lunch talking with my other friends and I thought -I know it was just a couple of words Amna said to me but how could words effect me this MUCH!

   I came back home and started to rethink my descision of me ignoring her "Did it make it worse?" or "Did it make it better?" I know she sleeps early I said to myself but its worth a try I texted her hopping she would see it the next day.

Ayahs Phone

59%     Monday        10:59PM

Ayah:Okay Amna i realized what i did was wrong and in a situation like this i shouldn't have just expected for you to know everything. Instead i should have lead you to the right path.

Amna:
(No reply)

Ayah: i know i didnt show a good example on it (today), but please if your questioning anything come talk to me and i will for sure react differently(in a good way)

Amna:
(No reply)

Ayah:sorry that was long and love you please talk to me❤❤❤

Amna-

   I was getting ready for school.I got out the shower and just looked at my amazing curly head I thought -i wish i could wear this for school for the whole world to see this amazing hair.

Then I calmly said no to myself and did wudu(task before prayer) so i could take the Shaytan away.

   As I was praying Subooh(dawn prayer same thing as fajr prayer) I made dua that Allah would lead me to the right path.I. Was.  Lost.I would always have thoughts like this that were coming from Shaytaan.

I finished praying and hoped that I would know where to go.I wore my clothes got my undercap(worn under hijab to secure),hijab,and pins.While i was doing my hair i put it up in a bun and wore my undercap and complained thinking -It's so tight and im going to get hot with the sun out all day I decided to not where it today.

I took my undercap off and pushed my hijab just a little bit to show a little bit of my hair.As i was finishing Baba(my dad) was taking me to school today and called me "Amna Yalla",he yelled.I added my final touches putting zeyt(oil) in my hair and making my baby hairs look nice.

It was the day after the little "incident" I had with Ayah yesterday and I was not looking forward to it.

   ×I didn't know it at the time but I was take babysteps and going further away from Allah×

   We were getting closer to the bus stop and i was going through my phone and saw multiple texts from Ayah ,we were there so I gave Baba a bosa(kiss) and went to the bus.

   I sat down and wished that I should have worn my undercap with the cold windy mornings it was a stuggle keeping it secure just from my car to the bus imagine the whole day.

  Ugh,I sighned thinking about Ayah."What is she going to do today she got so angry yesterday for something that was my choice. Anyway , I'll figure it out when she comes" I groaned.

   We were almost at her stop so I finally had the courage to open her texts and after reading them I was so grateful I didnt lose my bestfriend because I thought I just lost the most precious loving honest BEST <3<3person ever.But I also felt mixed emotions even though I was just so happy I kept all these questions _

-Will she sit with me
-Does she really not hate me
-Was she being honest
-Is she being honest
-Will I lose her
-Wll we ever be as close as before
-Will she even be my friend

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