True Blessings

Chapter Five

When Christie had begun her first steps toward transition, she had reached out on transgender pages of social media to learn if anyone lived near who could help her. Elenore Potts replied that her church had several transgender friends and members. She was the pastor of the church, also transgender, and willing to help.

Christie wasn't certain, replying, "I appreciate the offer, but I am not religious."

"I have two gay, Jewish gentleman that often visit," Elenore replied, "and a spiritualist gender-neutral person. You are welcome to come, Christie. I want the community to have a place they feel safe in."

Tentatively, she attended the church and soon realized it was a warm, friendly place to discuss what she felt and learn where to go for help.

Sam Michaels, a young handsome transman, helped her find a counselor to talk with while Teeyen Carter, the gender-neutral person, and Janet Wilson, another transwoman, helped her learn the tricks to help appear less masculine.

In the six years since, from her first hormone injection, to electrolysis, to trying to choose a bra, they had helped often, and she was grateful she had put aside her beliefs for their help.

She called Elenore early Sunday morning, before church started and told her about Sammy.

"I feel I'm achieving something with him, Elenore! He didn't hurry the hug, either, he hugged tighter when I started crying!"

"Wonderful news, Christie!" the pastor replied. "Don't push him, though. Let him have time to adjust."

"Yes, I know that – but thank-you for reminding me." She smiled. "He has a friend visiting later today who helped him understand Zinnia's blog - a girl he likes."

"That's good, too. She may be a reasonable voice he needs, especially with his father away and not reinforcing hatred."

Christie frowned. "Yes, maybe. But I wish I could turn back time and raise Arnold to be better."

"You can't bear all the responsibility, Christie. Society reinforced it."

"But I still believe I share much the blame, Elenore."

"Well, you can't change what has happened. Focus on what you can change – Sammy. I must get ready for morning worship. I hope to see you soon!"

"Yes. I'll try to stop by sometime this week."

Christie ended the call. Leaving her phone on the kitchen table as she took out boxes of cereal she knew Sammy liked, and the toaster.

Sammy arrived minutes later, wearing pajamas and a robe.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Yes."

He gave her a quick hug then grabbed a bowl and poured cereal into it, then milk.

He sat at the table and dipped his spoon into the bowl.

"I did think of something before falling asleep, though."

He pulled a spoonful of cereal from the bowl and brought it to his mouth.

"What?" Christie asked, dropping bread into the toaster.

He chewed then swallowed.

"I've always called you grampa and I don't think I can stop, but I know you don't like me calling you that. I don't want to be mean, but Gramma was special to me and when I say that name, I think of her and . . . "

"I understand," Christie said, although wishing he could try. "In time maybe you'll be okay calling me gramma."

Sammy chewed another bite of cereal then put the spoon down.