She Will Persist

18

Axel

"Hey Axel?"

"Hmm?" I picked the cigarette out from between my lips and turned around.

Adira ducked her head and pushed her feet through the small window and onto the fire escape with me. She kneaded the heels of her palms against one another as she crossed the black steel grate beneath us and towards where I was looking over the railing. "So about tonight," she started.

I stuck the smoldering white stick back in my mouth and smirked. "You know I got protection Deera, you don't need to worry."

She lashed a hand out and plucked the cigarette from my mouth.

"Hey!" I pawed at it but she extended her arm out past the railing of the fire escape.

"I'll drop it," she threatened.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

I groaned and savored the taste from my last drag that still dusted my tongue. "You want to sleep next to me tonight, because of what's happened the past two nights?"

Adira kept her arm straight and watched the white smoke get whisked away from the tip of the ashy stick and blur into the wind.

Last night she had another severe night terror. Like last time, I'd woken up to help her, and she only calmed down once I held her hand. Whenever I let go she'd get worked up again, so I stayed with her, and we woke up together. The two of us hadn't talked about it since we both woke up before everyone else and we had to go meet Harrison, Quinn and Zach anyway.

"I hate this," she whispered.

"Hate me?"

"No. God, no. I hate this feeling, I hate being in someone else's power, having to rely on someone." She looked at me with angry blue eyes. "I should be the one to keep myself in check."

She handed me my cigarette back but I snuffed the embers out on the metal railing and then tossed it down over the edge. "There's nothing wrong with letting others help you."

"I don't deserve your kindness Axel."

"Hey," I said firmly. "We talked about this, down in the prisons, remember? You need to learn how to forgive yourself, how to let go."

"But—"

She ran her blue eyes around my face and then looked down at her wrists balanced on the black railing. The wind picked up and she shivered.

"Oh shit my sweater is back at the hotel isn't it?"

She nodded and looked sad.

"I would give you the shirt I'm wearing right now, since you apparently find my scent alluring, but unfortunately this is literally all I have."

The corner of her mouth twitched up in a smile and she nudged me playfully in the shoulder. "Well since I'm cold all the time and for some reason you're like a human heater, it would be only fair if you gave me your shirt anyways."

"You just wanna see me shirtless, I see how it is." I smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Feel free to jump on down and fetch your lung poison while you're at becoming Hot Head 2.0." She turned to go back through the window.

"Wait, honestly though," I twisted around and grabbed her hand. She was right about her body temperature; her fingers shot ice through me as soon as we touched. She noticed my shock and snatched her hand back. "Sleep next to me if it makes you feel better, really, I don't mind." She looked to say something else but I hurried on. "You're not a monster, no one believes that but you. You can go around thinking that you were one, but right now, you're not. You helped try and stop a bombing today, and even though we failed, you were still there risking your life for the safety of others. That doesn't sound like a monster to me, that sounds more like a hero."