internet ⋆.ೃ࿔* markren

1 !

"hey, sicheng?" renjun spoke, wanting to ask the nurse a question to break the deafening silence.
it was always quiet in the house and renjun couldn't stand it. he usually played music loudly over the several loudspeakers surrounding the different rooms, but when his doctors or parents were home he couldn't do that. they said it was too distracting.

"yes, renjun?" sicheng responded in the same tone that renjun had used. he hung the iv bag filled with the clear CTx liquid up on the stand, and started preparing the iv tubing. renjun waited with asking his question to when he was done removing air bubbles from the iv tube. he didn't want to distract sicheng and get air injected into his blood by accident, that would be really bad. like, really really bad.

"will i lose my hair?" renjun asked, knowing the answer. it was inevitable. from what renjun had read hair loss was the most common side effect to chemotherapy. sicheng gave him a quick nod, not to say yes but more of a 'i'll tell you later' way.

"do you want to just be sitting or do you want to lay down?" the nurse asked. he was preparing the needle, and renjun regretted looking over at him. you'd think that he'd be used to all the needles and stuff, after all he had been poked with more needles than probably anyone ever. "sitting," renjun answered, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his fingers.

"alright."

this routine was familiar. far too familiar than it should have been for an eighteen year old boy.
first it was tying the tourniquet around over his elbow. then it was using an alcohol swab to clean where the needle and cannula would go. those steps were fine. it was a little uncomfortable getting your bloodstream cut off, but it didn't last too long so renjun had gotten used to it.
the the third and last step, the last step that renjun cared about at least, was the worst.

renjun gripped sicheng's upper arm for comfort. the contrast between his pale skin and the older's tan one became even more prominent. sicheng knew renjun well enough that he was expecting him to do that. it would be more surprising if renjun didn't grab onto him. "you will feel a little pinch for a second, so just squeeze my arm if it hurts, okay?" he told renjun, giving him the most considerate smile he could without being fake. "okay," renjun responded and nodded, squeezing his eyes shut.

sure enough there was a pinch. renjun would definitely say it was more than just a little one though. he squeezed sicheng's arm as hard as he could, but not hard enough that it would hurt the other. "oh wow you're so strong," sicheng commented with a small laugh, the sentence dripping with sarcasm. renjun scoffed and opened his eyes just to dramatically roll his eyes at the older.

"and," sicheng started, dragging out the word "we are done" he said, "now you just sit there and relax," adding the last sentence just to annoy renjun.
"you had a question?" he asked, sitting down at the end of renjun's bed.

renjun sat up straight, crossing his legs. "uhm yeah," he answered. "i was wondering if i'll lose my hair." he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. he didn't want to lose his hair. he loved the fluff black mop of hair sat on his head, no matter how messy it was, it was the only things about his appearance he had any control over.

"didn't doctor qian tell you about the side effects last week?" sicheng asked, genuinely confused. "oh." renjun thought about it for a while before opening his mouth to answer properly. "oh, yeah he did."
renjun had just tuned out of the conversation, not really thinking it was very important. how dumb he had been. "i didn't really listen, i think," he said again. "i don't remember what he said, at least."

sicheng sighed, louder than renjun found necessary. "well then," he started speaking, it seemed like he was trying to choose his words extremely carefully. "eventually yes, you will lose your hair."

renjun frowned.

"however," sicheng added quickly, seeing how renjun's face dropped. "you might not lose all of it. it all depends on how well your body reacts to the chemotherapy. some people just get a small thinning, others lose all of their hair."

"so, i'm pretty much doomed then," renjun said and flopped down so that he was laying on his bed. he curled up into a ball and hugged his knees close to his chest. "my body never reacts good to anything!" renjun wanted to cry, to sob until he was emptied of all tears. but sicheng was here, so he held the tears back. "can i have my phone?" he asked the doctor.

sicheng let out a sigh again and stood up from the bed, walking over to the dresser where the phone was laying."renjun, you can't know how your body will react to it before it happens. and if you do lose your hair, it'll grow back! so, try not to worry about it. okay?" he handed renjun his phone.

renjun didn't answer him, just took the phone and clicked on the familiar app icon to instagram.

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so, sicheng and kun are both older in this story. plz just like go with it thanks