Blogs and sh!t

Do I?

With a lot happening, and a lot to think about. I realized something about myself, that I didn't really know at first. How I can act differently depending on where I am or the situation, I act differently here, at home, school, work, and even with my own friends. It's gotten to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore, what kind of person I am. It's been eating away at me inside for the longest time. I didn't even know that I can act so two faced, it happens so naturally for me, I don't like it, it's like a different side of me that I didn't want, yet it kept on happening, even without me realizing it, I don't like it. Do I deserve such great friends? Do I deserve worse stuff to happen to me? I may not have the best life or the waste, but I've done stuff that made me deserve worse. I try to be a child of God, but my other side makes me do and think things that I don't want too. I can be two faced, and I don't think I deserve all the good stuff that's been happening in my life, all my friends, the second chances God gives me, the wonderful family I have at Church and Youth Group. I seriously think I deserve to be alone, on my own, in life, trying to get by my own way.