Chapter Two

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I woke up.

I looked around, patting the bed next to me.

Empty.

It was real, but my stupid, stupid brain made me re-live it every night. I felt myself curl into a ball as I wiped tears from my cheeks.

I tugged a square frame from under my pillow and hugged it closer. The picture of Caspar I liked the most. His smile, body and hair all radiant.

I sighed gently and put it on the bed size with a small kiss on the cold glass. It reminded me of my last kiss on his cold lips.

I heard a knock and my sister, Zoe, walk in timidly. I felt the bed creak a little as she sat down with me, rubbing my back, trying to sooth me.

"Why? Why Caspar?" I asked softly, under my breath as I ran a hand through my hair.

"Look...Joe...you know what today is...right?" She asked me gently when she cuddled me, trying to stop me from crying.

How could I forget? it was his funeral.

I shuddered at the thought, chills running through my back.

"I'll leave you to get changed." She told me, her composure intact as she kissed my forehead and left.

I ran my hands through my hair.

I saw a bottle of vodka in my mini fridge and looked at it, sizing it up.

I walked over and took it from the fridge, unscrewing the top slowly and drinking rapidly, curling up on the floor, the now 3/4 empty bottle in my hands as I clutched it closer.

'No, Joe.' I swear I could hear Caspar's soft voice in my head.

"No! Fuck off! You left me!" I screamed loudly, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks as I launched the bottle at the wall, full force, watching it smash. "You left me." I repeated crying as I fell onto the floor, giving up.

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