Monsters of the Week

A Natural Consequence

Finally, finally, finally, they bumped up into a patch that if not exactly a formal parking lot, was at least relatively level and somewhat marked out with larger rocks around its borders, and Bob shifted the Pajero down into neutral and set the parking brake. Sidney had long since turned off the GPS after the chorus of "Turn around when possible." had gone from silly to annoying a minute or so after they'd left the last thing remotely recognizable as a paved, marked road on the climb out of Andorra la Vella, and there was nothing on the outside that actually said "Hôtel Serpigall", but it was pretty clear that this was the hotel from Alfonso's directions. It wasn't the biggest in the whole world, but it reared like a castle out of the wild and empty landscape of the Andorran peaks, a gigantic block of stone and timber that felt half like an alpine chalet, half like one of those log forts you saw in old Hollywood Westerns. Sid pushed his glasses up and looked down at the map, a dashed line winding over a photocopy of a topographical survey map to an X that marked the spot. "I guess this must be it."

Bob nodded and took off his driving glasses, stowing them in the center console. "I guess so. There's nothing else bigger than a shepherd's hut up here. Do you want me to grab our bags out, or do you think we should try to meet Alfonso first?"

"No, it's ok, we can go and try to find him first. It doesn't look like there's going to be much to do around here, and if he's going to put us up in the back from the start it'll probably be easier to go in the service door or something. We can find out later." Sid slung up his knife roll over his back as he opened the door and got out – that stayed with him regardless. It was force of habit, and Alfonso might know enough about the business to be concerned if his chef-to-be didn't keep his knives within reach at all times.

The last thing he wanted was to make a bad impression on Alfonso. Modesty is not a virtue that carries in kitchens, but even Sid himself would have hesitated to claim that he was a "rising star" back in Nashville (just yet at least), the kind of sous chef who could pitch their own restaurant and expect to get it funded by someone who was going to make back the investment – and despite that Alfonso had reached out to them to have him come to a fairytale kingdom and cook for the stars. This was a big chance, and he had to grasp it with both hands, even if – or especially if – it was coming with some shady baggage attached to it. Not just the "resort in a little-known tax haven" part, but that Alfonso had come to them instead of picking someone from Barcelona meant that he was still keeping an eye on Bob, and if Bob was sure that was over and done with, Sidney wasn't quite: he didn't keep up with any of the guys he'd dated ten years ago, the only exception from that time period being a high-school crush who he Facebook-creeped on every year or so when he was drunk or just especially depressed – being, of course, the one that got away. That was not problematic as long as it stayed just internet voyeurism, but coming to live at the guy's castle in the Pyrenees was quite another thing entirely. At least the first stint was only two weeks, to see if this was something they'd actually want to pursue.

Bob walked slowly towards the front of the hotel, looking around for a porch or a door or something, and Sidney caught up and followed behind him. It definitely looked weatherproof – they were up in the mountains in ski country, the winters had to be pretty strenuous here – but it didn't look all that inviting. Maybe with snow covering the roof and dusted across the dark wooden shutters and heavy frame timbers, it'd look prettier, but now, in the high summer, it was having a hard time looking like anything other than a fortress. That impression certainly wasn't helped by the first other human being they saw on the grounds: a stocky man of middle years with the rough hands of a manual laborer and the thin barrel of a light rifle poking up over his right shoulder who came around the corner and immediately fixed them with a suspicious stare. "Qui estan vostès?"