Run to You

13

When Scott and I get to the bar, Alex, Todrick, Kirstie, Avi, Matt, Kevin, Tyler, and Nicole are already here. They're chatting happily with each other, but the second they see me, they fall silent. I look down, while Scott puts a hand on my shoulder and guides me to a seat beside him.

"Hi guys," I say quietly. "I wanted to say that I'm really sorry for everything. I never should've left you all. At the time I just thought it was for the best, but I was wrong, and I really hope that you'd be willing to give me another chance." I bite my lip, trying to stop the tears that are welling up in my eyes from spilling. Kirstie stands up, the emotion in her deep brown eyes unreadable as she walks up to me. She stops in front of me, staring at me for a moment while I brace myself for her anger.

Suddenly, her arms are around me. My eyes widen, and I hug her back.

"I love you, Mitchy. One year of separation isn't going to change the fact that we've been best friends since high school." One by one, everyone else comes up to hug me too.

---

I've had a couple drinks, and though I'm not drunk yet, I'm a little tipsy. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Alex coming toward me. I smile turning to face him completely.

"Hey Mitch. Can you come with me for a minute? I wanna talk to you alone." I nod, following him toward the bathroom. Once we're in the room, he spins so fast I barely have time to think before his hand is at my throat and he's pinning me against a wall. "Listen, you little slut. I get why you might find Scott attractive. But you. Can't. Have. Him. Got it? I've been trying to build a relationship with him for too long for you to just come waltzing in here and try to steal him away." His grip tightens on my throat. I can't breathe.

"Allie, please," I choke out. He leans closer to my face, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He's clearly not quite drunk, but he's had some drinks.

"It's not as if he'll ever really fall for you. Soon enough he'll realize just how worthless you are and leave you in the dust. You might as well just give up now." His words echo Travis's, causing a steady stream of tears to start rolling down my cheeks. Darkness starts to eat away at the edges of my vision as I claw desperately at Alex's hands.

"Let me go," I whisper. Alex glares at me for another moment, before finally releasing me. I double over, gasping for air. By the time my vision has cleared and my head has stopped swimming, Alex is gone. I step out of the bathroom and toward the throng of people by the bar. My gaze is blank as I look around at my friends. None of them will want me for long. They'll all leave me.

"Mitch? Mitch? Are you okay?" I slowly turn around to find Scott standing behind me. I don't answer him. I just stare at him. He's so beautiful. I wish more than anything that I could just stay with him forever. But he's gonna abandon me soon. "Come on. Let's go home." I barely register his words, but I let him lead me out to his car anyways.

When we get home, he takes me inside and we both sit down on his couch.

"What happened?" I just look at him, not answering. I feel numb. I'm sure there are tear tracks down my face, but the tears are no longer flowing. "Mitchy, you're shaking. Let me-" he freezes, his blue eyes fixed on my neck. "Baby, why are there bruises on your neck?" He leans down to try to get a closer look at the marks, but I flinch away, clamping a hand over the area. "Who did this to you, Mitch?" He's trying to stay calm, but his voice is quivering with anger.

"I-I can't say," I stutter quietly.

"Tell me," Scott says, his voice thick with rage. I shrink away from him. He sighs. "I'm sorry," he says gently. "This whole situation is just really stressing me out." I look down. He's stressed out because of me. He'd finally gotten his life back together after I left, and now I just had to come back and ruin everything again.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, my eyes filling with tears yet again.

"Sweetheart, it's not your fault. I just want to be able to protect you. Can you please tell me what happened?" I shake my head, and he sighs sadly. "Alright. I won't make you tell me if you don't want to. But if you ever do, I'm always willing to listen to you." He's quiet for a moment, and when I don't answer, he stands. "I'm gonna go make some hot chocolate. Do you want some?" I shake my head. I feel like if I consume anything right now I might throw up. "Okay. I'll be right back."

As soon as Scott is out of the room, I get up and walk to his bedroom, grab a few things, and head to the bathroom.

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

I close the door behind me, double checking that it's locked before I pull out a tiny box. Inside the box is one of my biggest secrets. Taking a deep breath, I take off the lid and pull out a tiny razor blade. Blinking away tears, I hold it against the skin of my wrist, trying to steady my shaking hands.

After a few moments, I slide it slowly and firmly across my arm, watching as drops of blood well up from the deep slices. It hurts, but I don't care. Holding my breath, I do it again. And again. And again.

By the time I'm done, there are several cuts on my wrist and a decent-sized pool of blood in the sink, which I make sure to rinse away completely before I strip and step into the shower.