Star Crossed Journey *NOW PUBLISHED*

Chapter 4

Hazel huffed and puffed as she struggled with the rotted post stuck in the ground. She lifted the shovel and pounded it repeatedly in the dirt. Droplets of sweat formed on her skin as she continued to work. She needed to fix this damn fence! If she didn't do it soon, she knew Mark would be called to do it. She had to avoid that at all cost.

Hazel pulled the broken plank and threw it behind her to move it out of the way.

"Ommmphhhh."

Hazel stopped in her tracks and turned to the noise behind her. Her heart slammed against her chest when a pair of familiar blue eyes met hers.

"I am here to help," said Mark as he rubbed his shins. The wood was still sitting on his feet.

"I-I didn't see you there," stammered Hazel.

"It's fine. It was my fault not announcing myself. Mrs. Muller called me about the fence."

Hazel silently cursed herself for not having more skills or life experience to fix a fence.

"It looks simple enough. I can do it," Hazel countered before thinking.

Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at the mess behind her. Her cheeks flared with embarrassment of her bluff.

"I can show you how to do it. That way you can repair a fence again if need be without me."

Mark's words stung. She wasn't sure why. She had been convincing herself for weeks that Mark staying as far away as possible is what she wanted. She suddenly found herself questioning that. Hazel suspected that this sudden change of heart was because he was so close to her. She knew if she didn't separate herself from him, her judgement would be clouded.

"I'll get the other planks," whispered Hazel before briskly walking to the barn.

Hazel concentrated on the cool air slapping her face to gain her composure. She didn't want to do something foolish in front of Mark. That would include crying, yelling, kissing, hitting, or anything else she had thought about doing the last few weeks. She cried her eyes out this morning and had her moment of panic for the day. So, maybe she wouldn't do any of that in front of him. She walked over to the stack of wood and attempted to grab three at a time. She almost toppled over trying to pick them all up at once.

"You want to check them before carrying them all the way out to the pasture," said Mark behind her.

Again, she found herself surprised by his presence. She was so focused on her thoughts she didn't even know he was trailing behind her. Hazel turned and gave Mark a confused face. He smiled in response as he shook his head muttering about things to teach her.

"You need to make sure they aren't all wonky. You need straight, sturdy boards," he explained as he approached the planks against the wall.

Hazel felt the air leave her lungs as Mark came so close she could almost feel him. His familiar aroma filled her senses confirming she could breath. She stared at the wood boards trying to calm herself. Her face grew hot as her skin erupted with goosebumps. She was mortified. The last thing she needed is Mark noticing what he did to her. She needed to keep up her guard for both their sakes.

"Does that make sense?"

Hazel snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Mark who was holding a plank in his hands. He must have given her a whole lesson and she didn't hear a word of it. Hazel nodded in response hoping she looked convincing. Based on his smirk, she didn't think she was convincing or he found something amusing. Probably both how awkward she had been.

"Right. I'll check some boards and carry them out there.  Then, I can show you the next step."

Hazel watched as Mark quickly organized the boards in two piles. When he was satisfied, he picked up two large posts.

"I'll come back and get the other one," he said as he looked down at the other piece of wood laying on the ground.

"I'll get it," she said as she heaved it up.

"You don't h—"

"I can do it," argued Hazel.

Mark shrugged and sauntered out in the pasture with both boards over his shoulder. It looked so easy. But, she knew it wasn't. Which is why she was left dragging the other one behind him sheepishly. Mark put the boards down and turned to watch Hazel drag the other one in the pile in front of him.

"The next thing we have to do is the hardest. It's getting this post out of the ground," said Mark motioning to the disaster of her trying to dig it up.

"I'll go get another shovel," said Hazel as she started walking back to the barn. 

She peeked behind her and was relieved to see Mark wasn't following her this time around. She needed some distance so she could process a legible thought. As she entered the barn, she went to Gunnar's stall and sat down on an overturned bucket in the corner. This was her place to think and escape. For some reason, Gunnar chewing on hay always calmed her.

Hazel wanted to kick herself how she was reacting to this situation. Just this morning she was in tears for many different reasons. One of them being not near Mark anymore. She had been fighting her desire for him for weeks. She hoped she would fall out of love with him. It was so strange to admit that to herself now but, she thought it would make everything better. She assumed the nightmares and fear would fade the more the love diminished. But, she found it had the opposite effect.

Since speaking to Mark yesterday, Hazel was finding it was impossible to escape just the thought of him. Even harder to keep from making a fool of herself proclaiming everything she was holding back. The love, hate, lust, loss, and every other term that was conflicting when comparing it to the last.

Hazel put her head in her hands. Her mind ached with the endless circles of emotion. She never remembered reading books or hearing stories about how much love hurts. She wondered why her mother never warned her what love consisted of beyond that term. Hazel groaned to herself as she thought about her mother and family. She wished she knew where they were. Before she could dive into that, she heard someone entering the barn.

The footsteps came closer and stopped at the stall door. Hazel looked up to see Gunnar was blocking her from view. Again, she found herself thankful for his big size.

"How are you doing, Buddy?" said Mark's soothing voice on the other side.

Gunnar nickered in response and quickly raised his head from the hay. He turned to greet Mark still keeping Hazel out of view. She heard Gunnar munching on something new. A treat she presumed Mark gave him. Her heart was pounding in her chest hoping Gunnar wouldn't reveal where she was. It would be hard to explain why she didn't make her presence known earlier.

"Gunnar, you are such a good boy. You have been so good with Hazel."

Hazel's ears perked up. What did that mean? How much had Mark been keeping track of her and she didn't have a clue? She wasn't sure if she should be flattered or uncomfortable with this revelation.

"It's time for me to go back to work. Keep Hazel company for me, would you? Be a good boy."

Hazel held her breath as she listened to Mark's footsteps fade into silence. She whispered to Gunnar, reminding him she was there before making her way back to the main part of the barn. She grabbed a shovel and walked to the pasture forcing herself not to hesitate. She knew there wasn't enough hours in the day to think any of this through. She would just have to pull herself together and endure this.