I hate you! i love you?

i...love....you.... chapter 5

May contain sexual content 

Ariana's POV

so i gave the guys the day off because i'm not feeling it today so i'm currently walking through the park wearing a red velvet crop top with black tights and red&black flats i curl my hair and leave it down i'm listening to in case you didn't know trying not to cry i'm so conflicted and now i'm crying i can't even explain my emotions my walk leads me to a door i sigh and knock they answer "hey" i say through tears "hey what's wrong?" kendall asks shutting the door i sit on the orange couch "i gave you guys the day off because i'm conflicted with my emotions" i say crying "tell me what's wrong" he says putting on a muscle shirt i sigh "i think i love you but i also hate you but i don't wanna hate you" i say crying he hugs me and i beat on his chest "YOU DESERVE BETTER THEN ME KENDALL" i scream he looks me dead in the face and says "never say that again you're amazing and i love you too" he says kissing me with passion i kiss back he runs his fingers through my hair and kisses my neck then we hear the door open i jump to the floor "what's up carlos?" i ask "nothing much what are you doing here araina?" he asks "i was walking and needed to talk to kendall so i'll see you later bye!" i say running to my apartment and shutting the door i slide down the door on my back with my hands in my hair {what the hell did i do????} i think to myself "ariana?" ashleigh asks "hey how are ya?" i ask "good just chilling with justin are you okay? you look white as a ghost" she says i laugh nervously "i'm fine is this 20 questions or something?" i ask shutting my room door "what happened?" she asks i open my door and yell "I KISSED KENDORK AND HE KISSED BACK I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT" i scream slamming my door and sliding down the wall she walks out without saying a word 

"hey ashleigh always a delight" carlos says shutting the door "thanks and what happened with kendall&ariana?" she asks he shrugs "i don't know she was acting funny then ran out" he says she nods "kendall?" she asks "yeah ash?" he asks "what happened with you and ariana?" she asks "we talked that's all i gotta go" he says leaving their apartment {something happened and i'm gonna find out what} 

i'm currently in my room listening to avenged seven fold and playing return to castle wolfenstien for xbox (bring on the hate but i love that game) it helps me when i'm confused i'm wearing a black laced cami with a grey shirt that shows the black lace with some black shorts my hair is curled i hear a knock on my door "who is it?" i ask "it's kendall with coffee" he says "come in" i say pausing the game "carmel latte medium with extra whip and carmel" he says handing me mine "how did you know?" i ask "ashleigh" he says i half smile and sip my coffee "what are you doing?" he asks "playing return to castle wolfenstien i love it it's my favorite game and you have the weekend off but we are working hard tommrow" i say playing the game he nods and sits next to me "why did you run?" he asks "because i hate you kendork" i lie "no you don't you're just afraid" he says i pause the game "SO WHAT IF I AM? I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE IT'S MY FAULT CAM DID WHAT HE DID" i yell "HOW?" he yells back "HE FELT SO BAD FOR CHEATING ON ME I CUSSED HIM OUT THEN HE KILLED HIS SELF IN HIS ROOM LOOKING AT MY PICTURE WITH A NOTE THAT SAID I'M SORRY I DON'T DESERVE HER" i say crying in my hands i hear him sigh and hug me i hug back "that's why i can't be with you i'm afraid you'll do something stupid and blame me for it" i say crying in his chest "you can't blame yourself he did something stupid it wasn't you're fault no matter what you say" he says looking me in the face i look down with tears streaming down he wipes them away "even when you're crying you're beautiful too" he says i half smile 

A/N: hey guys! next chapter will be up soon so stay tuned and stay amazing!!!!!!