The Lost Ones

The Lost Ones - Chpt 8

*Ash/Eliza POV*

------ A few minutes before ------

As I saw the Captain, Monika and Mike leave the room, I could not help but feel uneasy, as if they were hiding something. From the moment I laid my eyes on him, I couldn't help but feel a weird sort of attraction to him. From his stance, his posture and his aura. The way he carried himself with authority and the sureness of his character. I could tell that he was a natural leader. Though from his steps I could tell that he was carrying a great burden. I felt this unnatural feeling of wanting to help remove some of the burden from his shoulders. I couldn't help myself and stealthily followed the trio, hiding in the corner of a nearby hallway, eager to learn more.

------ After the conversation happened ------

I was baffled, mouth agape from the exchanged that happened before me. I did not know what to do. I never expected him to do what he just did. He did not seem the type to just break down. Especially to Mike and Monika. I mean who are they? Why are they important to him? Especially to Monika. What is so special about her? Does he like her? Shamefully, I felt jealous that she was getting all the attention from everyone because she is beautiful. I am a younger woman and I was still pure. I kept waiting for the right man, but no man came knocking. I felt I could do so much better than her.

As I thought of these questions in my mind, my attention is still focused on Captain Wolffe, crouching on the floor, his head in his hands, sobbing. For the first time in my life, I felt pity. I have seen people beg for mercy before getting killed. I have tortured people for information. But none of those experiences made me feel pity than this specific moment. I just wanted to go out and talk to him. But, I just stood my ground, hiding in the hallway, knowing my interference could make it worse. For the first time in a long time, I felt ... nervous. I have not felt this way since the time I was first deployed to my first mission. Why does he make me feel this way?

As I hid there and tried to make sense of my thoughts, I caught a glimpse of him standing up and getting ready to leave. Part of me wanted to follow him and talk to him about this. The other part, the more rational part, knew that if I did that, the conversation would potentially take a turn for the worse. Before I knew it, he was gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

*(Y/N's POV)*

I wiped my tears and hurriedly got up and fixed my uniform. I could not let anybody see me in the state I was in. I swore to let myself look weak in front of people ever again. I straightened my posture and walked back to my office, ignoring the soldiers and staff around me. As I walked, I got lost in my thoughts once more.

Start of flashback

5th October 1990

"May the court please rise to welcome the honourable Chief Justice, Erich Hoffman." Stated the court stenographer.

I stood up, hands cuffed in front of me, in my Grenztruppen der DDR uniform. I was on trial for being an officer of the Grenztruppen, and potentially a Todesschützen, charged with my fellow other officers in the Mauerschützen-Prozesse. We were accused of shooting "fugitives" crossing over the border or having a part in doing so. I was not part of the section responsible for fugitives, I was responsible for planning potential raids along the border. But they did not have to know that.

I was lumped up with other officers as the court reviewed the evidence and dished out the charges. I was waiting patiently for my turn as the others were sentenced to death or life imprisonment, I thought that my time was up, since I was politically connected and more "communist" they might say. When my time was up, I stood up and braced for the eventual life sentence thrown my way.

"Oberst Y/N Wolffe, the court has reviewed the evidence presented, and there has been little to no evidence to persuade the court beyond reasonable doubt that you had a part to play in these events. Therefore, the court cannot sentence you for this charge." The judge paused, becoming increasingly aware of the shouts and disagreements from the other Grenztruppen officers to the Bundeswehr officers.

I was stunned. I had really thought I was gone. I was willing to accept my fate. I felt relieved for a moment. The judge called for order in the court and continued.

"However, we have sufficient evidence that you were indeed involved in the political conditioning of the soldiers involved. You will still be able to serve, but the court has deemed it reasonable and appropriate for you to be subject to a demotion at the discretion of Field Marshall Von Heisenberg. It is either this, or you will be subject to a dishonourable discharge. The court will leave the decision to the accused to make, for this special circumstance. That will be all, court adjourned."

I stared at the judge dumbstruck. What kind of justice is this? What he did was worse than I could have ever imagined. This fate was worse than death. I gaped openly at the judge more stunned than angry. As the court was adjourned and the military police dragged me away, I could not help but feel the stinging loss and injustice I received from the tribunal. I would have rather died.

6th October 1990

The next day, I was brought in front of my men. A battalion of former Grenztruppen was standing at the ready in the parade square in behind me, with stony faces. I was standing alone, facing the Field Marshall and other high-ranking officers. He looked at me straight into my eyes, a smug look trying to creep into his features.

"By order of the Bundesverfassungsgericht (Federal Constitutional Court), you have been tried and sentenced to a demotion with the discretion from Field Marshall Von Heisenburg which will be carried out today at 13 00 hours. Upon the orders of the court you were given a choice. What say you?" The Major on the Field Marshall's right side stated.

I felt the collar of my shirt getting tighter. I forcefully swallowed the lump stuck in my throat. I still could not believe these series of unfortunate events. They took away my father. They took away my life. What more do they want with me?

"The demotion."

The Field Marshall smirked and nodded.

"Stillgestanden! Abteilung, kehrt!" The major commanded.

I turned in a 180-degree angle, from my left side. I was met with all the faces of the men I once served alongside with, the men I led. The men who trusted me with their lives.

"After much consideration, the Bundeswehr has deemed it justified to demote you to the rank of Feldwebel." The major ended.

I felt hands touching my shoulder, removing the rank patches from my shoulders and replaced it with the new rank. I felt tears threatening to spill from my eyes, but I could not let that happen. Not with the men I personally respected looking at me as I was demoted. All the work I put in for nothing. Even though I was depressed from the demotion, I told myself that they will see my prowess as a leader and they will learn to respect it whether they want to or not.

End of flashback

"Captain?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, waking me up from thoughts. As I slowly got a sense of where I was, I felt my head resting on the door of my office. I slowly turned around to acknowledge the person. It was Eliza.

"Yes Eliza? How can I help you?"

"Are you all right? You have been standing here for 15 minutes straight." She replied.

"Why and how did you know I was standing here for 15 minutes straight. Don't you have a job to do?" I replied.

"Well, not right now. Want to talk about it?" She inquired.

I gave her a questioning look.

"No." I replied stoically, opening the door and entered the room, closing the door on my way in. I locked it for good measure.

I heard knocking on the door.

"If you want to talk later, I'll be here." She said, her voice muffled through the door.

Heh. Persistent isn't she. As I sat at my desk, in my featureless office, I could not help but think, what I did to deserve all the shit that was thrown my way. Not an ounce of respite. Not one bit.