The Lost Ones

The Lost Ones - Chpt 16

*Y/N POV*

Fuck. I don't need this right now.

My eyes went back to my work.

"Y/N – I – "

"Leave my office, close the door behind you." I cut her off, still absorbed in my work.

After a few seconds not hearing anything, I decided to check if she was still there. True enough, she still stood there, tears rolling down from her cheek. I won't fall for this bullshit.

"Did you hear me? Leave and close the door behind you." I stated, not glaring, just staring at her, my face displaying no emotion.

"Y/N please, let me –"

"GODDAMNIT ELIZA." I yelled, standing up from my desk, slamming my fist on it.

She flinched and took a step back. I gave her the chance walk out of the door by her own free will. Now she had done it. Now she made me mad.

"GET THE FUCK. OUT. OF MY OFFICE." I finished, seething and shaking from anger.

"No!" She yelled back.

This grounded me. I did not expect her to stay, much less for her to yell back. Everybody else would have ran away or even shat themselves. But not her. She always seemed to surprise me. No one else, in the right mind, dared push my buttons knowingly but her. I marched up to her.

"How dare you. How fucking dare, you." I seethed, arms distance away from her, to prevent myself from doing something I would regret.

"I trusted you. I opened up to you. I told you about my family. I ... I was ready to take you out for that dinner you wanted, sat by your bed every free moment I had, for what? For you to stab me in the back? Was it because of what I said during the mission? I knew the way I said it was rough, but you know it to be true. I wanted to apologize to your so badly after that mission and I saw that? I was willing to put everything aside and I get that?" I continued, my hands clenched to a fist by my sides.

No one would have made me like this. No one would have made me feel this way. Only her. Only she could make me spill my guts like this. And I hate myself for that. Her shivering and sniffling made me pull myself from my thoughts and put the focus back on her. I chuckled.

"And to think I actually had feelings for y –"

I was pulled forward and I felt something soft and sweet on my lips. It was Eliza, she was kissing me.

What?

I just stood there stiffly, her lips on mine and I did not know what to do. Her lips were so soft, her tongue, licking my lips a little before retreating into her mouth, urging my mouth open. Her lips almost left mine, but by some force possessing me, I pulled her back in for the kiss. I did not know what to do, but somehow, I obliged, pulling her close. I opened my mouth, telling her how much I wanted her. My arms were then buried in her beautiful red hair, untied but not unkempt.

I should not be doing this. I have to stop.

I maintained the kiss for a while longer, savouring her sweet lips and her warm, gentle embrace. I gently, yet firmly pushed her back, my body stiff and yearning for the warm embrace still. But I had to stand firm. I couldn't let her do that to me. Especially what she did. My heart hurt as I saw her face, mouth open and face saddened as though I had slapped her. I wanted to hug her and apologize to her. But she should be apologizing to me, instead.

"Leave." I said, softly, catching my breath, breathing hard, my eyes clenched shut.

"You know I'm so sorry right? I thought it was you. I –" Eliza tried to reason.

"Please. I can't do this right now." I replied, gently, holding my hand up to stop her before turning around and going to my desk.

I looked up only to see her still standing there. Damn. She is really persistent huh. I just ignored her and carried on my work. Now that I owe everything to Six, I cannot give her a reason to dismiss me.

*Ash/Eliza POV*

I just looked at him, trying to see what reaction I can get from him. But as I stood there for what felt like hours, seeing just engrossed and lost in his work, I knew he did not want to talk about it for now. How can I blame him? I came to apologize about this and that kiss made this complicated. Not about my feelings for him, but about his feelings for me.

Why do I make everything complicated? Why do I always overthink the simplest things? What is wrong with me?

What can I do to make it up to him, to apologize to him? I know I cannot be forgiven. I do not deserve to be. I would not even blame him for pushing me away. Who wouldn't?

As I turned around to leave, I looked over my shoulder.

"I love you Y/N, from the bottom of my heart."

I waited a while for a response. Hearing none, I walked away, disappointed and saddened.

*3rd Person POV*

As Eliza left the office, little did she know Y/N replied to her.

"I love you too Eliza."

A/N - I published 2 chpts today because I tried putting it in one chapter, but after some advice, I split it into 2. Hope you all enjoy it :D