Cycle

Cycle (1/2)

We were in love, weren't we?

All those days we spent together

We shared our pain, didn't we?

Even when we didn't know what was wrong

It was March 28th, 2013. At 00.30 pm. You were in your van along with a fellow member and DJ partner Ryeowook after finishing Sukira. Ryeowook still didn't give up to persuade you for joining spaghetti party with another super junior members at your dorm. But again, you refused him with your sore throat as an excuse. It's true though. Your throat had been ached after having two days concert straight. Every members did their best to sing and dance for 4 hours long. No wonder if your body's tolerance level had reached it's peak. You're already 28 years old (Korean age) this year.

You felt your body heated. It's proved by how warmer your breath was. You also felt the heat on your eyes and ears. Am I having a fever?  You thought. Ryeowook asked you again if you're okay and you replied yes you're okay and just needed some sleep. You're used to this kind of thing. You promised yourself you would ask your manager to take you to hospital tomorrow. There's no need to tell the members.

You arrived at dorm. Ryeowook went to the 12th floor first to cooked spaghetti for everyone before he went down to 11th floor again. You said I am home but no one answered you back. It's not that there's no people at the dorm because you spotted Hyukjae and Donghae were sitting on the couch watching a movie together. It's probably a comedy one from Yesung's DVD collection, you thought. They're so caught up with the certain scene and laughed together. Didn't aware with your arrival. It's approximately 5 meters your distance with them but you felt your voice was so far to reach their ears.

You missed your old dorm. When everyone stick together a lot. It's noisier but you were so happy back then. You even still clearly remembered how Hyukjae and Shindong attacked you once you opened the front door. But this dorm, felt so much bigger.

Where are you? Can't you hear my voice?

My pained heart is looking for yours calling out to you- crazily

You sighed. You had through this before. Even the worse one two years ago when one of the most important person in your life fully ignored your existence. Your best friend. You had a lot of friends actually and some of them you considered as best friends.

Regular friends could come and go as they pleased. Even some of them only came to you only when they needed something from you. When they got something they needed or felt you're not their favorite anymore, they would go.

But the word "best friend" was more special. Best friend was a person who always be there on your side whenever you needed them. They were the first people you thought about when you made plans. The first person you went to when you needed someone to talk to. You would phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you're sad, best friend would try their hardest to cheer you up. A best friend would give the best hugs in the world, a shoulder to cry on, because you believed a best friend truly cared about you.

That's what you thought for more than ten years of your life. In reality, there's no best friend who could stick with you forever. They could go and leave you too as they pleased. Because they had their own life as you.

It's seemed like a story plot. Forming like a sigmoid curve. Exposition, when you first met. Rising action, when your friendship were growing closer. Climax, when you felt it's the best time you had with your best friend. But after sometimes, when you didn't have things in common together, there's Falling Action phase, when you two were slowly growing apart. As an idol since 7 years of debut, you experienced this phase a lot because of your busy schedules. But luckily, you rarely experienced the last stage. Denouement. When you're separated and wouldn't meet again.