The Difference in Our Eyes

My Wish and Curse (Part 2 of 2)

'What's her problem?'

'She's a freak, don't look at her!'

"What? No.....don't leave! I'm not a freak! I'm normal, like everyone else!!" I spoke, but it was like I was in a sound proof room, and they couldn't hear me. Tears began to weld up in my eyes and my throat swelled so it was hard to swallow. Hard to breathe. The tears began to fall from my eyes like an endless rain storm. Burning down my cheeks as they ran. Thoughts of being alone for the rest of my life began to fill my head to the brim. Thoughts of my father being disappointed in me. Will I be a disgrace to my family?

'She so hard to handle.'

'She doesn't know how to make up her mind and agree on one thing.'

Wait! I know that voice! Who is that?? "Wait! Come back! Tell me who you are!" It was useless to call out to that person. All they did was ignore me. They didn't acknowledge me. Not turning back, nor turning their head to see who I was.

This feeling is exactly like you're being wiped clean from the Earth. Body and soul. The people judging me on my appearance, and life style. Why? Why won't I wake up from this nightmare? Just then, everything faded from me, and the everything became nothing. I was alone, for eternity. But my thoughts were getting the better of me. The ground gave way, and I started to fall into the abyss of my sorrows.

"*Gasp*" I sat up in bed, gasping for air; noticing the small pool of sweat on my pillow. The feeling of falling brought me back to the reality of my room. The sun had yet to break the east horizon, but I didn't want to go back to sleep after all that. The feelings still lingered in my head. Terrified. Sad. And almost loosing all emotion of happiness. Almost loosing the respect that I had for my father, Mey-Rin, even Sebastian.

They say that dreams are premonitions of they future or even a creative way of replaying memories that you have in your head. Is it wrong to still believe that? l don't even know myself. Looking back now, I notice that I was never like this. Dreaming about the future and becoming stubborn.

After mom died, I became depressed. I barely talked to anyone. The only one that I liked talking to was Mey-Rin, our maid. She was the only one that understood my feelings, and treated me as if I was her own. But I never really opened up to Mey-Rin when we talked in the afternoons. I never returned to the same girl I was before my mom died.

I sat in bed for the remaining hours of the night, thinking to myself and how I will act when the first bachelor comes at 11:00 am. Once the first rays of sun light broke the darkness of my room, I heard three soft knocks on my door. I didn't say anything. My heart raced when I heard three more knocks on my door, a little bit louder this time.

"Erika?" It's father!? I thought to myself. I quickly lied back in bed and acted like I was asleep. Trying to control my heart beat. "Erika? It's time to get up." Ciel opened the door to my room and entered slightly. I was silent. The door clicked shut, and I heard several foot steps coming towards me. My body moved slightly when father sat on the bed. My long hair covered part of my eyes. I could feel every movement Ciel made. He leaned in a little and brushed the hair out my eyes. I shut them as quickly as I could.

"Come on, Erika. You have a long day ahead of you." Ciel spoke softly and sweet like; gently placing his hand on my shoulder and rocking me slightly. I decided to act like I was just getting up.

"Father? What are you doing here?" I asked, "I thought Sebastian was the one that wa-!" I plugged my nose fast after taking a big whiff of alcohol and smoke. He was out drinking again! I knew instantly where my father was. "Get out! You reek of the Midnight Wolf bar." I demanded my father to get out my room, my nose still plugged. I didn't want my room smelling like this.