The Christmas Note | ✔

Fourteen

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Chapter 14

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I picked up another book off the shelf looking at the cover before flipping it over to read the back. Only after a few sentences I decided to just put it back. I had no clue what I was going to get Amber for Christmas. I felt like I knew her so well but then when it came to shopping I had no clue. I simply wasn't close enough with her to give her some extravagant gift that she has been wanting for years. A pain in my heart caused me to drop my shoulders. I wanted to be close enough with her to buy her Christmas presents every year, and birthday presents. I wanted to be her top person. The one she calls when she needs help. I wanted to make her smile every single day and here I was struggling in Target trying to find some sort of gift to even make her smirk.

I felt like I was losing a little bit of myself. Before I started writing these notes I could list you a million things I wanted to buy her. I was so focused on doing better everyday without even seeing how she was responding to it. I needed to see her reaction when she opened a note. I was in competition with myself and honestly I will never be good enough for her.

I needed to know what she thought. How she felt about the whole situation. Maybe she loved the notes more than anything in the whole world and I really was helping her out. Maybe she hated them. There was no way I could tell. I couldn't give up now though. I was so close. It was December 19th and as it got closer the notes got harder to write. The more I wanted to just run up to her and kiss her. Show her that it was me. My heart was screaming for her to notice me and on the outside I was doing whatever I could so she wouldn't. My mind was so confused. I did know one thing though and that was Amber was special and she deserved for someone to show her that.

I pushed past the books there was nothing here I wanted to get her. I didn't know what she liked to read or if she liked to read. I didn't know if at night she tucked up with a cozy book before falling asleep or if she just played on her phone. These things I couldn't know until I tell her how I feel.

I swallowed hard walking to the next aisle. Perfumes were lined neatly on the shelf in bottles of bright colors and elegant designs. Here I was standing in another aisle and I still had no clue where to begin. Did girls just pick these up by whatever color looked the best? What color would Amber pick out? Did they pick them up by whichever bottle looked the prettiest to them? Again, which one would Amber choose? I stared at the bottles for what felt like six hours.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" A girls voice knocked me out of my thoughts. I staggered from my stance the girl startling me a little too much. My heart was pounding in my chest.

"Hey Miranda." I tried to put on my best smile. I hoped she couldn't see me panicking on the inside. If Miranda was here did that mean Amber was here too. I searched the aisle, watching for her beautiful face to pop around one of the corners. So far it looked like it was just Miranda.

"Nothing, just trying to pick out a present for my Secret Santa, I'm just having a hard time figuring out what present to get her." Miranda smiled looking over the bottles.

"Okay since we are both in this aisle then we need to make sure we don't get the same one or else the office will smell horrendous." Miranda chuckled leaning forward to grab a couple of bottles.

"I thought this stuff was supposed to make things smell better?" I shrugged at her. How would it make the office smell horrible if two girls wore the same perfume.

"Umm, you ever been on a date with a girl and she is trying to impress Jesus and Satan at the same time so she sprays herself way too much and you can't even breath while you are sitting across the table from her." I've never seen Miranda so serious in my life. I wasn't sure how to respond to her, I couldn't say that had ever happened to me but I didn't really go on a lot of dates.

"No." I mumbled.

"Here let me show you." Miranda grabbed a bottle from the shelf and sprayed the air above her head what seemed like a dozen times. I watched her not really sure what she was trying to get at. Suddenly it hit me, I felt the tiny little sprinkles on my face as I was suddenly hit with an overwhelming burning feeling in the back of my throat.

"What the heck is in that stuff!" I shouted, wafting at the air to make it go away. This only made it worse. I could taste the perfume taking over my body, it's chemicals burning the back of my throat as Miranda stood laughing behind her hands. I was scared to talk but felt the need to scream at her for the torture she had put me through.

Once the chemicals had settled Miranda took her hands from her mouth before laughing passionately. "See what I mean. If we have two girls in the office and they are both wearing this perfume the chances of the office smelling like them is more than likely."

"Okay well let's put that down and and not touch anymore of those okay, you are done." I grabbed the bottle from her hands quickly placing it back on the shelf.

"Well I have to find one for our boss so I need one that screams 'I am mean but I don't want you to think that so here I smell good' I'm not sure how to find that, who are you shopping for?" Miranda was a bottlerocket of unpredictable words and I wasn't sure I knew how to follow. I also didn't want her to know who I was shopping for.

"Barbra." I went to the first name I could think of. I was slapping myself in the face as soon as I had said it.

"Ohhh.... Barbra." Miranda put emphasis and every syllable of her name. I was scared I had opened up a can of worms.

"Here, you get this one and I'll get the one I bombed the aisle with." She handed me a tiny blue bottle shaped like a pineapple. It was cute, and it smelled pretty good to. "I have to go, but do not get this one whatever you do." She glared at me holding her finger against my chest before running off in the other direction. I shook my head.

"Trust me I never want to smell that again." I mumbled to no one in particular. I glanced down at the bottle in my hand. This would have to do. I probably couldn't pick anything out that was better. I breathe a sigh of relief as I headed towards the checkstand.